The Benefits of a Homestay..?

Cambodian Wedding Reception. Please read on!

I haven’t been sleeping GREAT here. It isn’t ungodly hot without AC but it’s a bit toasty. The bed isn’t too comfortable, nor the blanket. It sounds like I am complaining, I really am not..but I think part of the reason I wake UP tired is because I don’t sleep well.

As I was getting ready to leave I walked past one of the guys in the family that lives here and some tuk tuk people (maybe his friends I don’t know) and he asked if I was busy tonight. I said I wasn’t sure (the safe answer..) and waited for him to respond. He said there was a wedding tonight and asked if I wanted to go (it took a few tries until I understood this much). I said I wasn’t sure (I was very confused) and asked what time. He said 6:00pm and mentioned something about Payal going (which made me feel better). So I texted her and she said her and Ashley were going and I should be at the homestay around 6:00pm. We shall see what tonight brings.

I was off (with my bike again) to the laundry shop first because they didn’t give me back my laundry bag. Sound familiar? Now I will know that wasn’t just a Vietnamese thing and I will have to make sure I get it next time. I did a quick stop at the internet place and made it to the Home of Joy by 9:00am.

I got to the Home of Joy and was there in time for dancing! They were adorable. They always seem to have music playing on a CD player which I think is really nice and a lot of the kids were dancing. There are signs everywhere that say no pictures, but I am hoping next week (after the nuns know me better) I can sneak some.

The kids are adorable but they wear me out! Really they do! The girls were cute and sat behind me and kept taking my hair out and putting it back in a pony tail. Kinda hurt but hey it kept them busy! So I was happy when a nun brought over one of the two disabled boys and put him in my lap because then I got to rest, well sort of. I think she said he is paralyzed, but I think he has whatever it is that a lot of the kids in Vietnam have. His joints are stiff and he can’t really bend. I held him for a while and tried to dance with him when the music was playing. I felt awful because (this happened twice) other kids would drop something and it would make a loud noise and his WHOLE body would tense up. I tried to rock him and rub his head to calm him down. I finally figured out he loved when I bounced his legs to the music. At least, I think he liked it, I am pretty sure I saw him smile!

It was then feeding time and I am still trying to watch to see what the routine is. I was handed a bowl for the boy I continue to feed and love him because he is a GREAT eater! I also helped a girl who was pretty good on her own but sometimes needed an extra push. So after their food they get a piece of fruit, then water, then they are wiped and then they are off!

After my boy was done another worker gave me a little baby (well she could sit up on her own) to feed. It is so funny because the workers there call me Sister! Sorry Steve, I don’t know if I am available anymore.

This girl was TOUGH. She had baby food and she did NOT want to eat. I couldn’t get her to open her mouth or anything. When I did, the food would just come back out! I tried for a while with no luck. I was getting frustrated more so because of the FLIES! They are awful here. I don’t really worry about mosquitoes, it’s the flies! It’s kind of gross; I counted about 5 flying around me when I was trying to feed. It’s not as if the orphanage isn’t clean (it’s actually nice) but rather that flies just love Cambodia!

After feeding they lay down for a nap so I went around and rubbed some heads and backs and hit the road! I biked around a little more (since I know I won’t have my bike every day) and then stopped at a place for lunch that I could also check email quickly. I got a tuna sandwich which was really good!

I came back to the homestay to drop off my bike and then back out to find a motorbike to downtown. I have NO idea who these guys are but they always hang out at this one corner. All the motorbike and tuk-tuk guys wave at you even if you are MILES away..they are CRAZY! I can’t imagine these guys do this for a living because there are no tourists that come down that road and all the locals have their own transportation. But maybe they are just resting and hanging out until they see me and then spring into action.

I got a ride downtown to meet someone who was going to take me to ODA. At 1:15pm I called Leng who said his student was there, but then when I asked again, he said he would be 20 minutes. I told him it was fine they weren’t there but I just wanted to know what time. He seemed very confused, so I just sat to wait.

Earlier when I was walking around a young girl came up to me to try and sell something. I said no thank you and when she asked where I was from I just kept walking. I felt awful after thinking, “Yes, maybe she is trying to sell me something but she is still just a kid”. So while I was waiting for my ride another girl came up to me. I still said no thank you but this time I didn’t end the conversation. I already knew her next question so I responded with, “The States!” I asked her why she wasn’t in school and she said she had been in the morning. Which is true because when I go to ODA in the afternoon sometimes half the kids are in school and half already went in the morning. We chatted for a bit..she likes singing in school and does this after school to make money. I told her if I saw her tomorrow I would buy her an ice cream. Who knows what I have started.

When I was done talking to her this young guy was awkwardly staring at me so I figured he was my ride. I forget what his name was but he is 20 and brought me out to ODA. As we were on his motorbike I was so thankful I didn’t have to bike it. My butt hurts so much from just riding my bike in the morning (which is no more than an hour) never mind in the afternoon. I still do feel a bit guilty when I hear about other people who do it and kids who ride into town from the orphanage. BUT God gave me special talents to share with these people and bike riding isn’t one of them.

We got stop by the guards for a little bit. It wasn’t a scary situation, but they just needed to confirm (I don’t know how) that I was a volunteer and not going to the Temples.
When I arrived at ODA Leng was showing some people around so I went to the school area where there were about 7 kids hanging out. I just started talking to them and then brought out my books. They LOVED them and I was so excited! I think it was sensory overload (I gave them each 4 books) and I knew I didn’t want to go over them today but had to bring them ALL since I never go back to the homestay during the day.

I then decided it was most important for them to be able to start a conversation. Most of them are pretty good because Westerners stop by ALL the time but I wanted to make sure. I started off with hello/answer, How are you?/answer, What’s your name?/answer, How old are you?/answer. I could tell some of the boys were bored, but with a class that ranges in age from 6-15 it was hard to find common ground! I also thought this was a good way for me to see who needs more help and who can carry on a conversation.

People kept stopping by to see ODA which I thought was great! At first I was under the impression they REALLY need help but now I am not so sure. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I think a lot of people stop by as they are touring the Temples but maybe don’t stay to REALLY help or buy the things they need. it makes it hard for a structured lesson but I don’t really mind because it gives me a nice break when they stop by.

By the time we got to ages I realized they were struggling a bit with numbers and letters. Now I am not one to emphasize writing. If I had more time I would..but if there is one thing I have learned about language when traveling..it only matters if you can SPEAK it! Khaly could really only speak Vietnamese and did everything fine. If she didn’t know, she just told someone (in Vietnamese) she couldn’t read it and then they would say it to her. So for the children I know it’s important they learn how to read and write but I think first they should know how to have a conversation.

They do write in their books as I write on the board so I decided it was game time! Two teams and we had races. I would say a letter or number and whoever got it first -- won! Woo hoo! THEN I got tricky and would say something like, “5B” so they had to do both. I think they really enjoyed it.

I was exhausted and I think there’s only so much these kids can do without getting bored so I decided to call it a class (there doesn’t seem to be a set time). I was then just hanging out with them but these two older people kept asking me to pronounce words in the books. They might have been more or less around my age and I found out later one of them is the dance instructor. A past volunteer paid for a few months of cultural dance lessons for the kids.

I know how awful this is going to sound (these are the times I find it hard to write openly) BUT I am just tired of teaching English. The kids are adorable and I did have fun with them, but it’s more of the older people who come up to me and just ask me to read words for them. I know how bad that sounds, they are just trying to learn, but saying English words over and over gets old and I do it in EVERY country over and over and over. I can’t tell you how many times people just want to talk to practice. Again, I TRY hard because I know they want to learn, but I think I am getting a bit fatigued. Granted I have only been in Cambodia for a few days, I have been volunteering for over 2 months now so I think that aspect is becoming more tiring.

They asked me to stay for their dancing class and I felt awful but I said I needed to go. I knew I needed to go back into town to grab dinner and make it back to the homestay for this wedding thing. I told them hopefully another day I would stay!

Some guy from ODA brought me back on his ghetto bike. I felt awful because the mirrors were falling off (he had to hold them) and I didn’t have any foot things so I had to hold my legs. I was worried because I was wearing flip flops and on the turns my feet hit the bottom, but I still have two legs to show for it..although they were sore legs when we got back into town!

We stopped for gas along the way and I paid and then I will pay Leng for the transportation since it is much easier than me trying to find another way out there.

Once I was back in town, I quickly stopped to buy some dry erase markers for the school since all of theirs were running out and then did another quick internet run to check my email.

I had dinner at a place Angelina frequented often while in Siem Reap to film Tomb Raider. Her picture was everywhere and they had a drink named after her. It was cute but a bit overkill.

I wasn’t feeling great so I decided on eggs and fruit salad with yogurt and it was DELICIOUS. Scrambled eggs are another comfort food for me and I knew it would be easy to get down. I ALWAYS love a good fruit salad with yogurt so that was good as well! I can’t seem to find good orange juice here as it is always mixed with orange soda..yuck!

I found a new tuk-tuk driver to take me to get some milk (the kind I had was VERY spoiled..I had to dump out my cereal this morning) and take me back.

I had just gotten back and I ran into Payal and asked her if I should wear anything special or bring anything. She laughed and said it was cute that I asked so many questions!..and said whatever was fine! I still didn’t know what we were going to but decided I would go along and not ask questions.

We got in the family’s tuk-tuk and off we went. It was myself, Ashley, Payal and three family members. As we were driving there I was yawning (I was so tired) and Payal said something about me being tired. I figured that was a good time to throw in a question about how late this went and she said around 11:30pm. WOW! I was glad I didn’t know that beforehand! I still wasn’t feeling great and did NOT want to stay out that late but reminded myself this was pretty cool so I wanted to enjoy it!

I had NO idea what to expect until we arrived at a banquet hall just like in the States. Some people were outside and the women all looked beautiful. They had a lot of makeup on and all had either traditional dresses or traditional tops on with a skirt. Some looked like they were going to prom! It was great! The guys weren’t as dressed up, but I felt like the BIGGEST bum! I REALLY should have thought this out more..but I had no clue where we were even going! I had on sneakers, capri’s and a t-shirt! I hadn’t even showered or washed my face! Oh it was so awful. Nobody seemed to notice or care which was nice..but I just felt so under dressed.

We got in line to enter through the front door where we were greeted by the bride and groom in a sort of receiving line. I am not quite sure who the other people in the line were but the bride and groom were definitely there. They handed out their little party favors (a small notebook with hearts) and we continued inside.

Everything was pink. I mean EVERYTHING was Pepto-Bismol pink. Steve, I LOVE pink but you don’t have to worry about me wanting a wedding with THIS much pink!

It was set up like a typical western wedding reception. There was a dance floor in the middle, a live band on stage and tables set up on either side. We found a table and sat down. There were already drinks on the table and servers came out with food. I had already eaten dinner (I had no idea what to expect at this thing..) and since my stomach is still adjusting I tried a few things but didn’t go crazy.

Payal said the dance floor was set up like an Indian wedding since there were flowers in the middle and people danced around it. The first dance we went up to was a typical Khmer dance. Everyone kind of danced around in a circle and moved their hands..it’s hard to explain but I will upload videos soon. We did a loop and then sat back down for dinner.

After we had eaten they brought over the dessert tray but I would NOT call that dessert. If there is one thing I will splurge on for my wedding it will be the FOOD. Start saving Daddy..I have expensive tastes! It was some jello/custard thing and there were also envelopes with it. We found out that instead of gifts you bring money to put in the envelope and then give it to the bride and groom.

There was no head table because the bride and groom literally just took pictures all night! At one point we went back outside to take our picture with them. It reminded me of Disney..we got in a line, had our picture with them and then left. I also saw them through the night roaming around and having pictures taken!

After we had eaten this guy came up to me and asked me to dance! Woo hoo! It was again that typical Cambodian dance and he was trying to show me the moves, BUT like at every wedding there are always those drunk guys! One was behind me and I think he kept showing me the wrong moves to make fun of me. Even though they did speak English (well..I THINK they did) I couldn’t understand them but this woman kept hitting the man so it’s my guess he was being annoying.

They were getting a little too obnoxious for me so I decided to call it quits with dancing. To be honest..I don’t even like dancing anyway (thanks Mom and Dad!)

I was EXHAUSTED and felt bad because I kept yawning, but I felt very sick. My head was throbbing, I was all stuffy, and my throat felt like it was being stabbed with knives. We were almost the LAST ones to leave the wedding and as much as I was enjoying the opportunity I really didn’t feel well and just wanted to be in bed.

When we left, the brothers of the family wanted to drive us around which was sweet of them so we went through the downtown and out by the Temples. It was beautiful out by the Temples because there was nobody there and it was SO quiet and dark. I have NEVER seen so many stars!

Hugs and kisses from a Cambodian wedding reception!