nǐ hǎo Beijing

So here I am! My next update..from Beijing, as promised. Well, technically this update is from Portsmouth N.H. Probably the most IMPORTANT news of my ENTIRE trip is that I cannot access facebook OR my blog. Communists J that’s all I will say about THAT because they are probably reading this! My plan, as of now, is to have my Mom post my blogs so please still comment, etc. because I will love to read them! Ok so enough about that..let me update you!

First of all, this is going to be a LONG one! Grab a snack (or two..I don’t judge!) get a blanket and get comfy!

My last couple of days before leaving were pretty busy! A lot of last minute packing..trying to find a cell phone (I conveniently lost our international one..) and of course packing. Walmart came through and I really got everything on my list in one shopping trip which was great. My original plan was to bring one, yes one suitcase. Now Steve, being the supportive boyfriend he is, asked me how on earth I was going to bring one suitcase to Asia for 4 months when I bring at least 3 bags to his house for the weekend! Touché Steve, touché. I started off with good intentions, I did! (Vouch for me Mom!) But when one bag was completely full and I still had piles mile high on my bed, I realized one suitcase was not going to cut it. So, now I had two. The big question became which lucky suitcase was going to join me on my trip! We (my Mom and I) decided on of course.the BIGGEST one (I didn’t bother asking Dad because he would have asked why I couldn’t JUST bring a backpack). That way I had enough room and didn’t have to worry about weight. So somehow I managed to pack two massive bags AND weigh them with this awesome scale my Mom bought (isn’t she the best!) I came in at about 47 and 50 pounds respectively, which I considered good enough for me.and the airlines!

On Saturday, I woke up around 5:15 (ok ok, 5:07..I HATE waking up on even numbers or increments of 5..don’t judge, I told you I’d be honest) and did some last minute packing! Mom and Dad drove me to the airport (even though Dad wanted to put me on the bus, he sucked it up and drove me!) We got to the airport around 6:45 and I checked in. I was supposed to be on a 9:00am flight to Newark but since I was earlier, the ticket woman suggested I take the 7:30am flight so I would have PLENTY of time. I apologize to any of you who stalked the 9:00am flight that I was not on! The flight was short and non-eventful, a good start to the day! I had TONS of time so I treated myself to breakfast at a cute 50’s diner (Dad you would have LOVED it and would have sung all the songs..can’t say I missed that part!) When I got to my gate I tested my luck and asked if they had any upgrades. They didn’t do courtesy upgrades, so I asked how much it would cost. Only $8,000, so I told her my parents loved me and that was fine! Right Dad? I sat in 41A, a window seat and met Laura who was sitting in the aisle seat. I had seen her with a group of students so we began talking after I asked about the group. She is a senior at Texas A&M and she and other students are going to Beijing for the week to do something like a UN Meeting. It isn’t that exactly but something like that. She was really sweet and I enjoyed talking to her and we both crossed our fingers nobody would sit in the middle, and ta-da! We had the row to ourselves! I tried to figure out my plan of action for the plane ride. When was I going to sleep, when was I going to pee, and most importantly, when was the food coming! I told Laura about Deep Vein Thrombosis, which my wonderful parents had informed me about..I honestly don’t think I have ever heard of it (blonde, I know!) I think my mom said something that at Heathrow 1 person dies every month. So anyway, I explained to Laura I would be getting up to walk so I didn’t die. I had worked too hard and spent too much money to die on the plane to China.

So it seemed like the plane was ‘happening’ in the beginning, so I was going to be ‘happening’ too! They served some snacks and drinks and I watched *Ghosts of Girlfriends Past* It was stupid but passed the time. After that I think they served dinner..some beef dish that I wasn’t too thrilled about, but I managed to get some down and watched Law & Order SVU. Then it became “night time” and they asked people to close their shades, so I took that as my cue to sleep! Oh don’t worry, by this time I think I went for walks TWICE! No DVT for Julie! So I took one of my wonderful pills and sorta napped on and off for a bit. I got up a few more times to go to the bathroom and walk. Laura was asleep too but luckily she is small and layed down on the two open seats, so I don’t THINK I woke her up, although she is probably telling everyone a different story. With about 2 hours left we got breakfast and our forms (which I was most nervous about, I never understand them!) The first was a health form and the second was an info form, not too bad! So, the landing. Oh the landing! Now I consider myself someone who has flown a fair amount and this was by FAR the WORST landing I have ever had. We went up, we went down, we went left, we went right. We swayed like palm trees on the windiest day. It was AWFUL! Now, I am not one to get motion sickness, but this did it! My stomach was churning and I felt awful. Laura asked if I was ok and I said I thought the landing upset my stomach. Her classmate in front of us turned around and said how it was an awful landing and his stomach did not feel well, which made me feel better that I wasn’t the only one! So then it was time to get serious. I knew I was gonna throw up, but the question was, into what! (Again, I told you I was going to be honest..scroll down if you would rather not know!) I am somewhat of an, expert, as to throwing up while I travel. I decided to weigh my options. In Paris, I took the blanket off the plane and it made a great throw up receptor. But, I already had a LOT of stuff to carry and the blanket seemed like a lot more work. Get creative, I thought. So I opted for the pillow case of the small pillows they give you. My apologies to the next person to sit in 41A who had a naked pillow. Now, I did not have enough time to really evaluate my decision on the pillow case, it was more of a grab and go. Let’s just say if I DID have more time, I would have chosen differently. So I walked off the plane and I remember seeing a group of students maybe? And seeing everyone going up an escalator and that’s when it happened! I dropped my stuff to the side of the escalator, sat down, and threw up in the pillow case. Now, the pillow case was not very, dense I guess you could say, it held anything that was “solid” but nothing liquid. So, I’m just gonna say it. There I was in the Beijing airport by myself holding my bag of puke as it dripped. Gross, believe me I know. So I held it in one hand grabbed my bags and raced up the stairs to the nearest bathroom where I disposed of the pillow case and..washed my hands!

Alright done with that off to bigger and better things! I made it through the “health line” where apparently they checked your temperature and through customs with no problems. I then got on a tram which I literally think took 20 minutes to get to the “main” terminal. I got my bags and exited, again with no problem! So far so good! My flight landed around 1:50 and now I think it was around 3:00ish. Now I saw all the people waiting with signs etc! Ok Julie Wilson..Julie Wilson. I could NOT find my name. But I rounded the corner and found there were more people! Still no luck. Ugh, I knew it wasn’t the end of the world, I had the cell phone number of Melissa (my coordinator) and the address to my hostel, but then some girl came up to me and said “Excuse me, Julie?” Yes! Yes I am Julie! She introduced herself as Sabrina and I followed her. I did ask her how she knew Melissa and she said they were coworkers! So I followed her and we went and got a cab and off we went! To where? I actually didn’t know. While in the cab I did replay the situation in my head. She did say Julie right? I did confirm she knew Melissa right? I figured she spoke English, so even if I left with the wrong person she could help me!

The cab ride was about an hour, lots of traffic and hot! I think I fell in and out of sleep because I don’t really remember much! Luckily though, we ended up at Beijing Zhaolong Youth Hostel! She helped me check in (and by helped, I mean I gave the guy my passport and she spoke to him). He gave me my key (electronic) to room 202. It is up the first flight of stairs to the right. It is a very small room, but has a double (I think!) bed! I really just dropped my bags and kind of looked at Sabrina and she said she would like to show me around the area. Now all I really wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep, but I knew I needed to get adjusted to the time. So we walked around outside and down the street. Beijing was SO windy! I mean literally I thought I was in a hurricane! Sabrina said it isn’t usually like this, but there were times I really couldn’t stop myself. She showed me where there was a big department store and we went to the bank so I could get some money. Now her English isn’t bad, but it definitely took me a while to understand her and even still I have to pay attention and concentrate.

So before I knew it, she was taking me to the School for Poor Children, which is where I am volunteering! She told me it was about an hour away, which I did not expect, although I hadn’t really thought about it. So first stop, the subway! It actually is pretty close to the hostel which is nice (the stop is Tuanjiehu). It’s on the light blue line, line number 10. So she showed me the map and gave me a pass which has 20 RMB on it I think. SOME of the subway map has English, that being the Zoo and something else I forgot. But, conveniently, none of the areas I am going to have English! But hey that’s what I wanted, to be immersed in their culture (that IS what I wanted..right?) So she explained I get on the subway and go north and switch over to the yellow line, line 13. I couldn’t tell you the name of the stop but there are pictures on the subway which help! They do also say the stop in English, but I have found by the time they get to English the train is either at the stop or just leaving. So we got on the subway, switch over to the yellow line, and continued north I believe? Hm I should probably figure that out, but yes I think north. Now I am doing this by memory, because I need to do this by myself on Wednesday, so I think from there I get off at Lishuiqiao and I forget which way I exit BUT when I do exit I cross the street and get on bus 479! So we did all this together and got on bus 479 and then the bus stopped, in a LOT of traffic. Sabrina said it was a traffic jam, but after 10 minutes I asked her again and she said it was an accident. The bus driver turned off his bus and people started getting off. She said we could wait or we could get off and walk. I saw there was a China Mobile store outside so I asked her if I should get a phone! She thought that was a great idea! So we went inside and it was the first time I felt completely useless! I had nothing to offer to the situation! It was a strange feeling. She was talking to the store owner and I just stood there. I had no idea what they were saying, nor did I have any idea what I was even looking for as far as a cell phone. Also, I had no idea where we were (as far as location) but it was the first time I noticed people staring at me. A few guys came in and just looked at me, up and down, but not in the creepy checking you out way. It’s as if they thought maybe I would have 3 legs or 1 foot or something. It also didn’t help I was still wearing my bright pink American Eagle sweatpants! I just smiled and then stood close to Sabrina. I asked her if a lot of people around here spoke English and she said no. Finally Sabrina told me it was going to be 160 RMB and she thought that was too much. Then she explained she was going to try and barter. Great, I told her, as if I had a better idea. Next thing I knew she was grabbing my hand and we walked out! She thought it was too expensive and they were open until 10:00pm so we could always go back! We found another phone place and she was able to get me a used phone, sim card, minutes and charger! I think this is so I can call her? Although my cell phone from home works, but I think it’s very expensive. Who knows! My mom called me on my China phone (although the whole thing is in Chinese so I can’t do much with it!) My mom said, “To call you I dialed: 011 (US exit number) 86 (china country code) 1 (beijing number) then 305 186 7624.”

So after that we went outside and starting walking. I can’t even really describe where we were. It was NOT at all like where my hostel is located (which seems like a business district..I’ll explain more later). Where we were reminded me the most of Cairo (I’m so worldly. Ha!) The roads were dirt, it seemed..grimy maybe? We were walking on an uneven path and men were digging big holes, maybe to replace it? There were very small stores on either side of the road, I couldn’t really tell you what type of stores though. It either felt like a movie set or a bad dream. The kind of dream that when you are having it, you try to wake yourself up because you are uncomfortable and not where you are suppose to be. We were walking and walking and there were cars and trucks and busses everywhere in the street. I never really saw “the accident” because it all seemed like an accident. It was like they were going every which way. Then we were walking in a tunnel and there were still lots of cars and I can’t even describe it! It was like we were in a neighborhood because there were no street lights. It was very dark but there were SO many people walking. Like the whole side of the road was people walking, maybe 3 deep! It really was the strangest thing ever. I asked Sabrina about it and she explained we were in a suburb of Bejing and all these people were walking home. I didn’t know if they normally walk home or because of “the traffic accident” they were walking home. So finally she showed me where the bus drops me off (assuming it doesn’t turn off its engine in the middle of the road of course). I don’t know the name of the stop but I know it’s the fourth stop, so it’s a good thing I can count to four! When I do this for real, once I get off the bus I walk a block or two and take a right. Then, down that road I look for the red sign and take a left! But with Sabrina, the whole time since we got off the bus it was pitch black, and the road to the school is kinda, ok ok well very scary. We got to the end and there was a gate but it was open so we walked in! It’s like a big courtyard, and Sabrina talked to some boy, who says a teacher was still there! Then this man came out and brought us to a classroom and the three of us sat down. Sabrina and the man talked and I think I slept with my eyes open. I remember thinking I needed to pay attention in case I heard any English, but other than that I don’t remember much. Although sometimes Mandarin sounds like English, which is tricky, gotta stay on your toes! So then the man left and Sabrina said she thinks I should teach 2 classes a day and see how it goes. She gave me some of their English books? But I am hoping when I get to the school 1) Someone will speak English and 2) I will be able to shadow for a few days! Then the man came back in with another man! The two men talked for a while, Sabrina chimed in, and then the two men were writing on the chalk board. It looked like they were drawing a map, with some roads and houses. All of a sudden Sabrina stood up so I did too and then she introduced me to “Mr. John” I think his name was! He did say, “How are you”? in English so I can’t tell if he knows English or just a few words! I wanted to say “mucho gusto” which is Spanish for “nice to meet you” (proud of me Steve!?) but I just said “nice to meet you” in English and hoped he understood. Sabrina also introduced me to Michael who I think is an English teacher at the school. And then we were walking! To where? I did not know. But I followed! We walked through a neighborhood of some sort and people stared at me. Again it looked like there were little shops and some people selling fruits and veggies. At a corner, Mr. John left and then we followed Michael through a big covered market and on the other side there was a bus stop! I think what happened is maybe they were trying to figure out how to get us back? Because the traffic was all backed up? So anyway we thanked Michael and got on a bus! We had only driven a couple of minutes before we stopped. We were coming out of a side road on to a main street and wanted to take a right. There was a TON of traffic on the main street and a lot of those cars wanted to take a left on to our street. But I guess there wasn’t enough room for everyone because our bus pulled out so that not only could we not turn right but no one else could turn left! There was a lot of honking and yelling and people getting off our bus. Finally, some cars moved and everyone was free! Again I think I was falling in and out of sleep but finally Sabrina said this was our stop! She said she had never been to this part of town but asked someone how to get on the subway and he helped us! On the subway she asked if I thought I could get back by myself. I consider myself someone who is pretty good with maps and directions (remember Tom when we were skiing at Sunday River and you had us pegged about 4 peaks over!?!?) So I said I thought I could! I wasn’t sure what the next step with her was..I asked her what she was doing today (she said office work) so I figured I would explore and call her if I needed anything. She is very nice, but it is a bit tiring having to figure out what she is saying and also not being able to be completely myself and just relax. So she went a different way back to her house and I was on my own! Woohoo baby! Now the first problem was I forgot what my final stop was! Ugh! Luckily I found a map and found my stop but I did have to change trains and that was a bit confusing, but alas, I was home! I really felt like I had already been here for 4 months!

Home sweet home! So like I said, my hostel room is small, but it’s all mine! I cannot tell you how nice it has been (in the day I have been here) to have my own room! But like I said, it’s small! At the end of the hall is the bathroom. It has two showers, two sinks and two toilets (although only one is a Western toilet, luckily I haven’t had to fight anyone for it). So I probably got back around 8:45pm and ALL I wanted to do was sleep but figured I should unpack a bit! The problem was I had no storage! I had my bed and then a 2x2 table and that’s it! There really isn’t anywhere to put my suitcases as well..granted I know I brought a lot but the room is small. I decided to use my suitcases as storage, so I set them up on the other side of my bed and unpacked to repack. It’s “somewhat” organized, but not really! I tried to organize the table as well but again it’s so small things just kinda pile up! So there is my suitcases, the bed, the table and a 2x2 square which is really the only moveable space in the room. If it sounds like I am complaining, I’m really not, it’s GREAT! It’ll just take some getting used to! So anyway I did unpack and then I was able to skype (and see!) my lovely parents! After that my goal was to take a shower but Iiterally could not will myself to do so and passed out instead! I had a decent night sleep. I remember waking up at 6:30am and almost feeling wide awake and thought about trying to skype people etc. but decided instead to try and sleep some more! I heard people in the halls and again woke up for a bit at 8:30am and finally at 10:00am got up! I get limited wireless in my room (which is awesome!) and was able to talk to my mom and to Steve (which was a great and wonderful surprise). I CANNOT tell you how NICE it is to know that I have people who are thinking of and praying for me. I know it’s only been a day, but I still feel a bit alone in this city of millions, but it is comforting to know people are thinking of me and of course that God is with me!

So after my lovely IM chats from home, I finished unpacking and took a shower which was surprisingly, nice! The water was hot which is really all I needed! The shower head is a bit, tall maybe? So that if I don’t want to get my hair wet I am literally right up against the wall. So after my shower I got dressed and was ready to take on Beijing! The weather is a bit cold..I am wearing jeans, a long sleeve shirt and my north face and have been a bit cold. Sabrina gave me her email so I tried to email her with no such luck..hmm. I figured I could try and call her later. I was in a quandary about what to do with my backpack. I wanted to bring it, but wasn’t sure about pick pocketers (or PP’s as my mom, aunt and myself called them in Paris). When I was with them, someone was always on PP duty, but, since I am by myself in Beijing, I cannot carry the backpack AND do PP duty. So I decided to use my luggage lock on the zippers of my backpack! It probably doesn’t sound too exciting but I thought it was a great idea so I was excited about it! I left the hostel and started walking! I found a coffee shop and thought I should get something to eat. I got the BEST blueberry muffin and some water.

I have found myself feeling guilty lately (and by lately, I guess I mean the past day). I feel guilty that I don’t know Chinese. I felt bad going into the coffee shop and asking in English for my muffin and water. I was able to point to the muffin, but the man was very confused when I asked for bottled water. I also felt bad when it took me a few times to understand that he wanted 1 RMB so he could make change easier. I am in their country and I wish I could speak their language. But I can’t, so I try to speak slowly and smile and hope they can help me.

Well my muffin was great and there were two men speaking English, so I sat by them just so I could understand someone! Like I said, I think I am in a business district because I see a lot of men in suits. So after my breakfast I went in to the big department store Sabrina had showed me and it was HUGE! I felt very overwhelmed so I continued on my way! I found a Starbucks (where I am writing this now!) and a place that has pizza and sandwiches and a HUGE building that says IBM, which is why I think I am in a business district because that’s where a lot of the English speaking people came from. So anyway I kept walking and exploring. I did find a KFC and a Hooters! There were lots of stores and shops and I did find a grocery store which I think I am going to go after this. I was walking a lot and getting tired when I saw..drum roll, a Coldstone Creamery! I know I know, but I had to stop! I had chocolate devotion (SO GOOD) and it felt good to 1) eat ice cream and 2) rest! My backpack was pretty heavy and at that point jet lag had definitely hit, so I needed to rejuvenate! From there I walked around this mall area..it was MASSIVE and very confusing. My legs were tired and I was tired, so I figured I would walk back to the hostel and rest for a bit.

On the way I passed two black guys (it doesn’t matter that they were black..but surprisingly I haven’t seen any white guys who speak English) but they did say “What’s up girl”. I smiled because it was nice to have someone talk to me in English! So I made it back to the hostel and decided to lay down for a bit. I tried to nap but just ended up resting. I kept changing the alarm on my watch (thanks Mrs. Richards) because it felt so good just resting! Finally I dragged myself out of bed even though I felt like I could have slept through the night and here I am at Starbucks! It was VERY crowded when I got here, but now not so much. I wanted to write ALL this down before I forgot. I think I am going to go to the grocery store after to get a few things and then back to the hostel and sleep. I have NO idea what I will do tomorrow (I’m getting used to this “go with the flow” thing). I am going to try and call Sabrina because I need to get a few things AND have no idea if I need to do something with her and I don’t know what time I need to be at the school on Wednesday!

So..confession, I also am feeling guilty about my time here. Am I doing enough? Am I getting enough out of this experience? Am I giving enough? Am I using Sabrina enough? Will I use her too much? I feel like I have paid a lot of money to go through this program so I should use the coordinators, but I also feel the need and want to be independent and figure things out on my own. I feel guilty about thinking I am going to look back and regret that I didn’t do enough. Did I see everything in Beijing? Was I adventurous enough with the food? Did I do enough to help people? I feel like I am getting caught up in the “shoulds” and expectations of this trip, rather than being in the moment, being present. I am having a hard time just being (yes, yes I know I have only been here for a day!) I am used to schedules, to structure. I am used to “to-do lists” and things I am suppose to do. Like today for example, I didn’t call Sabrina (or attempt to) at all. I walked around the area, got snacks at places I had heard of, rested for a while, and now am at a Starbucks. I didn’t really meet anyone, or really attempt to. But the thing is I enjoyed my day. I feel a little more comfortable about where I am and I am enjoying the chance to write all this down. I don’t know why I feel the need to defend my actions and it’s not really defending my actions to you, but more to myself. Maybe I will leave Beijing and have eaten mostly American food (I do want to try other things though). And maybe I won’t see every “insider” thing Beijing has to offer. And maybe I will spend time on the internet talking to friends and family or watching the DVD’s I brought on my laptop or taking a nap. And maybe I will wish I had been able to communicate more and teach more. But what I am trying to remember and will constantly be reminding myself, is that I need to be present. I need to enjoy every minute, whether it’s volunteering or time on my own. I can’t get caught up in what I should be doing, or what people expect me to be doing. Again, this is just me voicing my thoughts to remind myself. The thing is, nobody has put any pressure on me, it just the pressure I put on myself to make the most of my time here. But, I am here and I am happy and I am so excited to start volunteering. So that is my new goal, to be in the moment and to enjoy the present rather than worrying that I am not doing enough. As long as I am enjoying the present I am doing enough!

I hate leaving on that note. It seems sort of sad and depressing and the thing is, I don’t feel any of those things. I am happy and I am excited to start another day in Beijing! My plan now is to stop by the grocery store and get some sleep! Tomorrow’s plan? As of now all I have schedule is to get out of bed. Oh, and to brush my teeth.

Like I said, I don’t have access to my blog, so I am going to have my mom post these for me! Please comment if you would like and she will email them to me! I CANNOT thank you all for your support and love and prayers. You are all what have gotten me through day one!

Love all of you!