Amok? A..yuck!

I didn’t have too much trouble falling asleep last night..but MAN was I tried this morning! Before leaving for Home of Joy I did a MAJOR Raid spray! I have had enough of ants EVERYWHERE..especially in my bed (Steve you better watch out..they are making their move!) So I sprayed everywhere and they booked it!

I walked to the Home of Joy because I knew I wouldn’t have time to return my bike this afternoon. I didn’t really enjoy the walk (I like biking MUCH better) and kept getting asked “Motorbike? Tuk-tuk?”

When I arrived at the orphanage I found Jenny (the woman I met yesterday) already teaching Maria English! I couldn’t believe my luck! She apologized (like she needed to!) but she said she had to stop by early anyway so thought she would teach. I was happy and knew Jenny had taught a lot, but I also felt a bit of guilt. Here I was dreading this and somehow I found the experience, humbling? I was complaining and complaining and not looking forward to it..and then I just didn’t have to do it. I felt guilty for NOT wanting to do it in the first place.

I was able to hang out with the kids which I like doing. And by hanging out, I mean consoling whoever is crying. The nuns do a great job with loving them, so they need to be held and coddled etc. The boy that I feed struggled a bit today as he gets very distracted when the fruit comes out! They bring fruit out after the meal (as a dessert type thing) and he always wants it before he is done!

The FLIES are awful here! I haven’t (knock on wood) had any major problems with mosquitoes but it’s the flies! At the Home of Joy (which really is VERY clean) I feel like I spend most of my time swatting flies from myself and the kids (in between the crying of course)!

As I was leaving I told the sister I wouldn’t be there tomorrow (Wednesday) but I would see her on Thursday. She said something which I didn’t understand so I kept trying to figure out what she needed me to know. I finally realized it might have something to do with Thursday. There is a sign outside the orphanage that has the visiting hours but says no visitors on Thursday. When I was talking to Payal (the girl who used to volunteer here) she had mentioned how she didn’t go on Thursdays. But I went last Thursday and didn’t even think about it. I don’t know, however, if that was special because of Christmas Eve Day (and the little party we had with the mother and daughter). I finally asked the nun if I could come on Thursday and she very kindly (no really she was sweet) said no, I think because they weren’t going to be there. I do remember someone telling me that the children are able to visit their families, so I wonder if they do this on Thursdays. Anyway I felt bad because if I had known I would have planned my last day to see the Temples on Thursday. Oh well now I know!

After Home of Joy I went to the cyber café to have a “final chat” with my mom about Thailand! Woo hoo! I THINK she is all set and ready to roll! I CANNOT wait!

My next stop was the Pavillion d’Orient. I had emailed some of the nicer hotels in Siem Reap (rumor has it one of the hotels is $2,000 a NIGHT) and explained how I was volunteering. I had asked if they would be able to donate any unused toiletries, towels, etc. Most of the hotels said they already partnered with an NGO (which I figured) but the Pavillion (relatively new) said they would love to! I wasn’t quite sure WHERE it was and it didn’t have a set address either (weird I know). Once I found a tuk-tuk I had to sort of explain where I needed to go (I knew the general direction) and then negotiate the price (which I find so tiring). One we had agreed, I showed up and met the manager who was so kind. He gave me three HUGE bags mostly with towels (he said they don’t keep them over a year), a couple of mosquito nets and some soap. I was SO grateful but soon realized this would NOT fit on a motorbike. I had to think fast about what I was going to do, but luckily I had the tuk-tuk ride back into town to do that. I KNEW I had to stop at the bank seeing as I had NO $1 bills left (which made transportation impossible) so that was my first stop. I am sure I was QUITE a scene stumbling into the bank. I then realized I needed to eat at the FIRST place I found since I was walking as fast as a snail. And the first place I found was…A PIZZA PLACE! Imagine that! I wasn’t even in the mood for pizza or pasta because I was sweating SO much from carrying everything. I decided on French toast and yogurt. The French toast was burnt and I laughed when I thought about how if I was in the U.S. (well first they wouldn’t even SERVE me that…) and then if they did I would definitely send it back. I managed to eat some bites as I waited for my yogurt. I finally asked what was taking so long and they said they had to go to the market to buy it! Oh Cambodia!

While I was waiting I stopped next store to get some toys for the kids…badminton and some soft bouncy ball things (a little smaller than soccer balls). I had called Leng to tell him I couldn’t take a motorbike and asked for a suggestion on how to get there and he said he could pick me up! So he showed up and off we went!

The kids all help unload the trunk and I showed them the new toys and they were really, really excited! We played games for awhile and then I could tell Leng wanted me to teach so off I went! I started with the alphabet and numbers game again, partly because I find it so hard to teach when I have ages 10-17. They are ALL at different levels so it’s a bit hard to find a middle ground. After the game started to get boring I asked which book they wanted to go over. They decided on animals..so off we went! Like in China, I showed them the picture, said the animal and then did a motion or a sound! After a while I would only say the animal (they had to do the sound) or vice versa. I then had them play charades in teams..but some of the younger ones forgot which animals they were. I think they still had fun and if nothing else I had a good laugh watching them act it out.

I find I get VERY tired and hot in mid-afternoon so when it seems like they are tired as well I call it a day! I spent a little bit more time playing with them and then I hit the road.

I came back to the homestay for a little bit of “downtime”. (By now you should be able to tell how much I enjoy and NEED time by myself!!!) I wanted to go into town for dinner and to check out the night market so I started walking! This time, a “passerby” motorbike picked me up. I told him I wanted to go to the Sugar Palm which was recommended by Alexis and Andrew and also got good reviews from what I had read. I told him the name and showed him on the map, but I could tell he had no clue. This was the first time I realized maybe some of the drivers can’t read maps! So, being the motorbike pro I am..I had to have my map out and give him directions as we drove. The cool kids don’t hold on when riding a motorbike..they read maps!! I had an IDEA of where it was, but since it wasn’t on the main strip I was a bit clueless as well. I finally had him just drop me off and went to find it myself!

It was very beautiful and I ordered the Amok, which is the staple dish of Cambodia. Most of the time it is like a coconut curry soup thing with fish, but I also read you could get chicken. However, all they had was tofu, so I ordered that. I knew I would have to wait 40 minutes (that’s why people said it was so good here) and I was ready when it came out! It was like a soupy substance in a hollowed out coconut shell with rice on the side. I got out my little article about “what to eat in Cambodia” and it said it is sometimes served with rice, so off I went! Ok now take a guess..did I like it?



NOPE! Surprise surprise I know! I SHOULD have known not to order the tofu because I don’t like the texture of tofu ANYWAY! I tried to eat a bit..but decided my granola bar would have to do. I did manage to cover it up nicely with my napkin so nobody noticed. I got the bill and realized I was charged another dollar for the rice. For some reason this kinda got to me. I didn’t ORDER the rice and when they brought it out I figured it was just included. Now, it wasn’t a big deal at ALL (the rice was the only part I liked) and it was only one dollar. But, I would love to see somebody’s reaction at BG’s if I brought them a baked potato with a main course and didn’t say anything and then CHARGED them for it! I think it’s just more that while I love the culture because it is so different, I also hate the culture because it is so different! I get tired of having to make sure I am not getting ripped off or scammed. The bill came to $6.50 so I gave the waiter a $10. He came back and asked if I could have the change in Riel. Now again, was it a huge deal…ehh (it is a bit much to have in Riel). The only thing I EVER use Riel for is the internet and even then I USUALLY use dollars (better exchange rate). The only time I use Riel is to get RID of them (anything less than a dollar you will get back in Riel..). He told me they were all out of small bills. Now, I was at a popular tourist restaurant (all Westerners around me) so I somehow doubted they were out. I kindly asked him if he could go check again and I think magic happened because he came back with $1 bills! Again maybe his motives weren’t bad but I hate always feeling like someone is trying to take advantage of me and scam me!

I left the Sugar Palm and headed for the night market! I had read there were two night markets (right next to each other) and wanted to check them out! I was actually really impressed! They were both very big and sold all the typical tourist things (every booth had the same thing!) There was also a really cool tiki bar type thing and a couple of restaurants (more or less). I knew I was too tired to actually LOOK for anything but I enjoyed the people watching and the crowds!

Hugs and kisses from the Cambodian dish Amok.

The Christmas That Never Ends!

After about 5 hours of sleep (I had another 3am nighter) I woke up and my legs killed! I didn’t think I did THAT much walking and hiking yesterday at the Temples..but my legs tell me otherwise! I am so glad I was not doing another day of Temples because my legs would NOT have been able to handle it!

I have decided that any experience is different for everyone, so there will be no more SHOULDS for me. I am here because God put me here and instead of worrying if I am doing enough, if I am doing what’s right, if I am gaining enough from the experience, I am going to work on just “being”.

I dropped off my laundry (I seem to be flying through my clothes) and made my way to the Home of Joy. I saw a LOT of shoes outside so I was ready for a big crowd! And I found one! I ALSO found Santa Claus! It is like the Christmas that never ends! I found out the group was from Singapore and have been here since Christmas. They are affiliated with the Catholic Church so have been “touring” with them and seeing other villages. The man I spoke with said there were 37 of them, ranging from 14 to 96! The 96 year old woman was adorable! They were singing Christmas songs and hanging out with the kids. I gave “Santa” credit as I cannot imagine how hot it must have been in his suit!

The man also told me about a woman from Colorado so I went over to introduce myself. Jenny is in her late 50’s and is traveling all over Southeast Asia writing a book about being a solo female traveler. I was SO intrigued (I made sure to give her my email). She has been a widow for 13 years and has 3 daughters. She spends a lot of time traveling so she decided to write a book! I asked her lots of questions about what she does, how she does it and she said really she just shows up somewhere. She starts walking around and finds people very helpful (in Temples and Churches etc.) and takes it from there! She spends a lot of time teaching English to kids and meeting with the locals. I found her so interesting and I really enjoyed listening to her stories.

Sister Nazarene came over and asked me if I was staying for the week. I said I was and she asked if I could teach English to Maria, the woman who brought me the list of words last week. UGH! Obviously I had to say yes but inside I was dying. I know I have written about how guilty I feel for not wanting to teach English. The one thing I really enjoyed about Home of Joy was that I could just BE with the kids and I didn’t have to teach. Now, I will be spending my mornings teaching English to Maria and my afternoons teaching English at ODA. As awful as I feel for saying this..I am actually sort of bummed. Granted the kids wear me out, but I love hanging out with them in the morning. I think I am a little worn out (in general) but also worn out of always being asked to teach English, practice English, etc. I am trying to stay positive! I came here with an open mind and an open heart so God could put me where I am needed. And I will do my best to teach English with a smile, but I really just don’t enjoy it at all and will miss my time with the kids. I am also trying to remind myself I am only here for another week. I guess I just feel like ALL I have done for the past couple of months is teach English. When people see me they just FLOCK to learn English. I admire that and admire their willingness to learn but it’s just not something I am comfortable doing. I would really appreciate your continued prayers and support especially during this week.

I think if I was staying for more than another week I might ask to go somewhere else rather than the Home of Joy. I think because they are run by the Catholic Church there isn’t much need. Having the church behind them makes a HUGE difference. I also think they have a TON of volunteers and financial support (because of the church). I have been looking to see if there are ways I could contribute financially..but every couple of days there are groups of volunteers coming in with supplies and money etc. I am enjoying my time there but part of me feels my time and effort could be of better use elsewhere.

I left Home of Joy and road my bike back to homestay and it was HOT! I had PB&J and enjoyed a little downtime before heading into town. My man wasn’t sitting on his motorbike in front of his house, but I knew around the corner there would be a group of them waiting! However, I hadn’t gotten that far before one was driving past and asked me. I hopped on and said, “Blue Pumkpkin, Old Market” and it was OBVIOUS he had no clue. Most of the time I don’t have to help THAT much with getting into town..but I think the only English word this guy knew was, “Motorbike?” Luckily I feel pretty comfortable with directions so when he started going down this road I had never seen before I figured I could get us there. At one point I wanted him to go right at the lights and he just pulled over and stopped! Oh what a hassle to get into town!

As I walked up to the Blue Pumpkin I saw Sokmaly, the very outgoing girl and another girl I couldn’t remember (I soon realized she was the dancing teacher). I was sort of confused why there were two of them there to pick me up and then I realized that meant THREE of us had to ride a motorbike. Now these motorbikes were made for two..maybe THREE people if you are little..but it was NOT made for two girls and a Grady butt (Mom and Auntie Kathy you KNOW what I am talking about!) I spent the entire ride PRAYING I wouldn’t slip off as my butt was literally hanging off the edge.

The English lesson started as we left with them asking what things were in English, etc. I think they must be used to talking with the wind but I find it SO difficult and am constantly saying, “What? Huh? I can’t hear you!”

We arrived at ODA and again the group was small (which I like..I think). I went over to talk to Leng (the head guy) because I had some questions etc. but he was very weird and kind of rude. He just kind of brushed me off and said, “Yeah you teach and we talk later”. I am hoping he was just in a bad mood or something. There were six people in class today since the other half was at school! Bo is the older girl who I think is there to teach dancing. Her English is pretty good..except I can’t tell if she is 17 or 23..but I think 23 like me! Sokmaly is 17 (I think) and she talks a lot and gets very involved. Pharly is a cute little girl who is 10 and doesn’t say much. Tea is my FAVORITE! I think he is 7 or 8 (they don’t seem to know their ages) and he is just the CUTEST little thing. Lot and Pek are my two “boys” and Pek actually speaks English well and always wins when we have games.

I started off with the letters and numbers game since they still have trouble with letters. I soon realized I was VERY tired. I still don’t think I am used to the heat and I find it hard to be teaching in the afternoon when it is so hot. I am always talking and standing so I also find I get more tired that way. We continued on to introductions. We didn’t spend much time on that and I just had them say a couple of things out loud. I have NO idea if I am expected to teach for 2 hours straight but there is NO way I can do that when I don’t have a clue what to do (the kids get tired as well). I really wanted to stop at that point but I continued on to fruits. I went over the names and then had them each be a fruit. When I said their fruit they had to stand up! Then I had them partner up and one of the partners would come up to me. I would whisper the name of a fruit and they had to go back and tell their partner. Then, their partner had to find the fruit in the book and show me. To finish the day, I had one person stand outside the group and play “telephone” and then the last person had to say what they had heard to the person outside of the group and that person had to show everyone the picture in the book.

I think I am finding that I am a bit drained. I think my body is tired (I can’t seem to shake this cold..I feel like I can never sleep enough and just the wear and tear of travel) and my mind and heart are tired if that makes ANY sense. I find the traveling alone to be tiring..the always having to be on guard..learning a new place, area, language, customs, etc. I also find that I am “exhausted” by seeing such poverty and sadness. I guess by that I mean it gets exhausting seeing how others live, with disabilities or with a lack of resources. I am NOT in the least bit complaining. I love every second I spend helping people, but I guess what I am saying is I am really looking forward to next week with my mom and Lorna. I feel physically and mentally drained and I think it will be good for me to rejuvenated before volunteering in Thailand. I am hoping after my little break I can come back refreshed!

Leng had been gone for awhile..but luckily a few of the kids could speak enough English that I didn’t feel completely abandoned. One of the boys who had driven me once showed up and I finally was able to understand he could bring me back. I actually enjoy the boys more than the girls (I know that sounds bad..) but the girls are very giddy and giggly but I feel like I can “hang” more with the boys. They were asking me if I could sing and dance (I told them they didn’t wanna hear me sing or see me dance) but that I would charge my iPod so we could listen to some music tomorrow. I also asked if I could bring them some fruit (they were very excited) so Veasnu (I THINK that’s my “sometimes” drivers’ name) said tomorrow he could pick me up and bring me to a market! Hopefully that goes smoothly!

I came back to the homestay to drop off my stuff and get my laptop to head downtown. My man next door was waiting and luckily I don’t have to say too much since he now knows where I go. I made myself comfortable at the Blue Pumpkin and I somehow managed to pass the time uploading photos, answering emails, etc. I then made my way to a pizza place for dinner. I was exhausted, hot and cranky and just wanted something quick as I still had to get my laundry and get back.

I found a tuk-tuk, showed him where I needed to go, and waited for the “Oh so far..$3!” The novelty of bargaining has DEFINITELY worn off as I now reply, “$2” and start walking away. They don’t waste ANY time and yell ok as I hop in.

I find trying to get home every night exhausting. The tuk-tuk drivers want to charge more because it’s so far away (like I need to be reminded I am in the middle of nowhere) and since they never know where they are going I can’t really relax because I need to make sure we are heading in the right direction!

I did manage to get my laundry AND get home for $2 without getting lost!

Hugs and kisses from Christmas part two!

Moving Day!

I moved today! Woo hoo! Well first of all I slept in this morning which was WONDERFUL! I then tried to figure out the best way to move. Like I said I have no wiggle room in my suitcases (yes..plural) so it didn’t really make sense to pack everything up to move a couple of doors down. So I carried everything! It actually took a while seeing as I only have two hands..but I made it work!

I then spent some time relaxing, catching up on blogs (I have fallen SO far behind) and just enjoying a morning and early afternoon doing NOTHING. Sometimes I feel guilty when I take time to stay inside and chill because I think, “Ugh I am in (fill in the blank) and I am inside!” BUT I know that I need a break and a rest and I will appreciate where I am a lot more after having rested up!

I think before I moved into this new room, a city of bugs lived here. Yes, a city! I think I have counted about 7 daddy long legs and I HATE those. I feel as though I spend most of my time killing bugs, especially when they crawl on me in my bed. NOT OK! Ants, spiders, things that crawl and then decide to FLY! I try not to think about it too much but ugh sometimes it just grosses me out!

I took a nice warm shower and it was wonderful! I had forgotten how much I miss hot water! It also made up for all the moving I had to do. I had a nice PB&J sandwich for lunch and then got ready for my afternoon tour. My Temple pass is good for any three days until next Friday. Apparently, they just changed the rule because you use to have to use it three days in a ROW! Talk about being Temple’d out! So I decided I would do a full day tour on Saturday, a half day tour on Sunday and then I would pick a day next week to do some touring. I do want to see all Angkor has to offer, but I also know myself well enough to know three full days is too much!

I found a different guide through trip advisor to use for Sunday afternoon and Wednesday. The plan was to meet at the homestay at 3:00pm but I realize I had a missed call from him at 2:35pm. I figured he was lost..like everyone else when they try to find this place! When I called back (about 5 minutes later) I heard a phone ring outside my room. “No way..” I thought. He said he was here and he thought he was outside my room. I told him I would be right there and scrambled to get ready!

He had a car as well and I can’t decide if I like the car idea. The AC is great and you go a lot faster..but there is something traditional about the tuk-tuk. I think though for me the car is a good idea because I can see a lot more and I do feel safer than hiring a tuk-tuk for the day since I am alone.

Sun Same is 27 and is from Siem Reap. He drove me to the Roluos Group which is a group of Temples about 20 minutes from town. We first saw Bakong, the biggest one and it was pretty. I was so glad we waited until the afternoon because the sun wasn’t as strong. We then went to Preah Ko and finally Lolei (there wasn’t much to see there). I wasn’t overly impressed, but I knew I wanted to do the big temples my first day to make SURE I saw them and then do little ones.

I enjoy having a guide since I have NO idea what I am looking at and I also enjoy having someone to talk to. He told me more about how corrupt Cambodia is (he has to pay a “corruption” fee to get his tour license) and just things about life in Cambodia.

He then took me to Phnom Bakheng for sunset. This is the place KNOWN for sunset so I was ready for the crowds and they were there to greet me! It was actually a hike up to the top. The temple itself wasn’t anything amazing AND the stairs to get up to the top were CRAZY! Each stair must have been about 2 feet tall and the width of the stair was about 6 inches so there was no room to miscalculate your step! I didn’t see anyone fall, nor did I fall which really is a feat in itself!

Unfortunately, the sunset was not impressive. More so because there were clouds so as the sun started to set it was just covered by clouds. I was glad I did sunset last night so I did get to see a true sunset.

Coming down the stairs was a completely CRAZIER time and there was a line of people backed up. Again I did not fall so I was very proud!

I made my way back down the path to find Sun Same to head back to town. We got stuck in the “sunset traffic” but made it back so he could drop me off at the Temple Balcony so I could eat dinner and watch a show.

I had read that you could eat dinner and watch traditional Khmer dancing at this restaurant from 7:30pm-9:30pm. I decided to get there at 7:00pm as I knew a lot of the tour groups would have reserved seating and I might have trouble finding a place to sit. My table was ok, not the best view but I could see (more or less). I got spaghetti and waited for the show to start. I really wasn’t that impressed at all. It might have been because I couldn’t really see well..I am not sure. I am definitely glad I went to see it, but I don’t think I will be running back to see this show again anytime soon. The service was so slow so it took forever for me to get my check and when I did I was ready to hit the road!

I DID upload new videos (pictures are still coming) so make sure to check them out as I will have to delete ones to add NEW ones by the end of this week!

Hugs and kisses from my new room!

Angkor Wat

I was excited about touring the Temples when I woke up this morning, but part of me KNEW how tired I would be at the end of the day.

I am NOT a museum/temple/pagoda/history buff type of girl. So, I spoiled myself and hired a guide. I LOVED having my guide in Beijing..(there was SO much to see so I did about half on my own and half with her) and I loved my FREE guide (Mr. Long) in Vietnam! I am finding that traveling alone is EXHAUSTING so I reward myself by having a guide who will do all the hard work (getting me from place to place) and tell me everything I need to know. Also, I feel a lot more comfortable and safe and know I won’t be taken advantage of (I kinda stick out being a blond American).

I used trip advisor (obviously) to find a guide who was highly recommended. He picked me up with a driver and car at 7:30am. For whatever reason it is a law that tour guides can’t drive and drivers can’t give tours. Honestly, I felt a little too spoiled in a car. I haven’t been traveling in anything enclosed in over a week and it felt strange! It was definitely nice and I welcomed the AC..but it was almost like it was too much (yes, this is coming from the princess).

We headed off and made our first stop at Angkor Wat, the biggest and most well known of all the temples. We worked our way from back to front and it really was beautiful. It had only been about 5 minutes into the tour when I realized I was SO glad to have a tour guide! I probably could have brought a guide book with me but 1) I would have had NO clue what to look at/where to go, etc. 2) I would have given up after an hour and 3) I would have gotten HASSLED by people selling things.

Dara, my guide, was great. Personally, he gave too much history etc. but I know that’s just how I am and could have done everything in half a day. He was worth it just for the PICTURES! He knew exactly where to go, how to stand etc. to take the best pictures! Sometimes I felt like a model..it was awesome! I was also glad to have him because he pushed me, in the sense that I really wanted to see EVERYTHING I had on the list for the day, but if I didn’t know what I was looking at I would have gotten bored. Some of the stories were actually interesting (a lot were not haha!) but he was great for his knowledge of the temples and his knowledge of where to go and what to see! I also saw other people (without guides) get hounded by everyone trying to sell things. While they asked me as well, they weren’t as bad which was a WELL needed break!

As we were leaving Angkor Wat we passed a number of wedding parties having their pictures taken. Just like the reception I went to the woman wore beautiful clothing and lots of makeup. McGunnigal family..I think you should also start saving for flights over to Angkor Wat for wedding pictures. Just giving you a heads up!

From there we took the car to Palilay Temple and to be honest I think I actually would have preferred a tuk-tuk! It felt way too formal to be in a CAR of all things..but I didn’t REALLY complain because the AC felt great.

:Side note: as I have been typing this three different types of bugs have walked across my computer screen and now I kill them with one hand. CRAZY!

Continuing on..Palilay was alright, but it was very small and a bit remote which in a way was very nice. It was quiet and peaceful but nothing special.

We continued back to Angkor Thom which has the faces of Bayon. There are a ton of faces all throughout the temple and most of them are smiling. It really is a happy place with all these faces smiling at you (in a creepy way I guess!)

:Side note: Just killed bug numero four!

After Angkor Thom and Bayon I was definitely ready for the morning to be over. It was SO hot and I was sweating like crazy and everything was starting to look like ROCKS (which I knew would happen). I made sure I was drinking lots of water and stuffing my face with snacks so Dara wouldn’t see the, “I am hot, tired and hungry” Julie..which really..nobody should EVER have to see.

At the end he asked if I wanted to see more in Angkor Thom or if I was ok leaving and I said I thought I was all set. I am SURE he has tourists who want to fill up EVERY minute..I’m just not one of them!

The normal schedule for touring the Temples is to do some in the morning and then leave to take a break, rest, recharge your camera and have lunch. From about 11:00am-2:00pm the heat, sun and humidity is AWFUL! If it were up to me I would change that time from 9:00am-4:00pm but the general consensus is 11:00am-2:00pm. I came back to the homestay for a WELL needed nap! I was exhausted! Between the heat and the walking and the climbing I passed out! I woke up to have a quick lunch and then we were back at it!

We want to Bantaey Kdei which again wasn’t anything special but it was near ODA (where I volunteer in the afternoons) so it was cool to see something nearby.

After that we did the last of the three major Temples (Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom) Ta Prohm. This one is best known for the trees that are growing out of the rocks and because it was featured in Tomb Raider, which I have never seen but feel I should after having been there. I, like everyone else, had my picture taken in front of the door where the one and only Angelina stood! The trees were really cool at this temples and it was AMAZING how the trees and rocks have become one and the same!

Dara kept saying how we had plenty of time, seeing as this was the last big Temple of the day before sunset, and I think I did a pretty good job filling up the time until we left. From Ta Prohm we drove to Pre Rup, the last stop of the day. The temple wasn’t much but it was supposed to be a great spot for sunset. We had a little extra time before the sun dropped enough that it wasn’t going to be hot so we sat at the bottom of the temple. A young girl (in her school uniform) came up to me selling things. I was about to give my rehearsed response of, “No thank you” until she said something about Christmas! She was holding these little 3D fishes made out of paper that were “ornaments” for Christmas trees! I can’t remember if I mentioned this but I collect Christmas ornaments everywhere I travel. This way, when I have my own Christmas tree I will able to decorate it and remember all my past adventures! (I shouldn’t take credit for this idea as it was my mom’s) but I really think it’s a cool way to collect things from traveling. Anyway, I didn’t have anything from Cambodia yet, and granted this fish isn’t very “Cambodian”, but I knew I would think of this little girl. So I bought one and had my picture with her and of course I then got flooded with everyone else trying to sell me things. I hope that every Christmas I will look at that ornament and think of this little girl and my Christmas spent in Cambodia.

We climbed to the top (it was NOT an easy climb) for sunset. The sunset was beautiful and it reminded me of something you might see in Africa (I don’t know why I thought of that). It wasn’t that I was disappointed, but I think maybe I was expecting more. I think tomorrow night I might see sunset from an area that sets over the Temples. This was just a sunset over the fields which was still very beautiful but I didn’t think it was very unique.

After that my day was over and I was so tired! I came back to the homestay and my plan was to shower and head downtown for dinner and my skype date with my boyfriend! However, Dara said he and the driver would wait for me since I was so far away from town. I thought that was really sweet that he went out of his way to make sure I would get into town safely.

I didn’t have a ton of time before my date so I stopped at a pizza place (I knew it would be fast). Surprisingly this was my first pizza stop in Cambodia..and sadly it was just ok. I then went to the internet café to have a well needed skype date with Steve! Granted he just had a webcam so we could only look at each other and then type..we think this is great practice for when we are old and can’t hear each other anyway.

After that I headed back to the homestay as I was exhausted! I am however, so excited to sleep in tomorrow. After that my plan is to switch rooms! Woo hoo!

Hugs and kisses from Angkor Wat!

I’ll Be Home For Christmas..If Only In My Dreams!

I did NOT sleep well last night. I feel like I start every blog saying this, but last night I was still up at 3:00am..NOT OK! I thought maybe the little kid in me was just so excited for Christmas!

My aunt called me this morning to wish me a Merry Christmas and it was a great way to start my day! I rode my bike to the Home of Joy and only found a few kids! None of the nuns were there either and since the staff doesn’t speak much English I assumed they were all at Mass! I thought I heard the Priest say the Mass was at 8:30am (Mom and Dad aren’t you proud that I listened!) and since the Christmas Eve Mass went about 2 hours I told them I would come back at 10:30am.

I road my bike downtown and it was HOT! I added money to my phone for my Christmas calls and then I knew I needed a cool drink and to cool down because I was cranky! I stopped at the Blue Pumpkin because I knew they had good drinks and it really is the only place with AC (it’s their “cool” season..imagine that)!

I rode my bike back to the orphanage (yes my butt still hurts) and when I got there the mother and daughter were handing out presents! They had brought wrapped presents from Singapore so every child got a present and a bag of candy! Yum! They were so cute and I went around helping them untie and unwrap their presents. Most of them were ones that moved (battery operated) and one was a dog that walked. The kids were TERRIFIED of it and I had a good laugh. They would run up behind me so the dog didn’t get them!

I really was SO happy to be spending my Christmas with them! I wore my FLASHING Santa hat I bought yesterday and they loved the lights. I was also happy with my decision to do laundry seeing as I was also wearing my red shirt!

I was happy the nuns were letting the kids eat as MUCH candy as they wanted. It was EVERYWHERE! We listened to Christmas songs and played with their toys and I felt like I spent most of the morning FIXING toys. I had to be the battery putter backer AND Nurse Julie as a doll’s leg got amputated! Don’t worry, I managed to perform surgery and had her back to good!

The kids went down for their nap and I asked what time I should come back in the afternoon and Sister Nazarene said 2:30pm. I left and came back to the homestay for a little lunch and a nap myself! I only allowed myself 45 minutes to nap because I am too afraid I won’t be able to sleep tonight! Although even the other day I only napped for an hour. Oh well wish me luck tonight!

I decided I wanted to watch the Christmas movie Elf..but my computer kept saying it knew I wasn’t in the U.S. and it only worked in the U.S! You crazy computer how do you know where I am (I wasn’t even connected to the internet). It was too much work to try and tell it YES I was in Cambodia but my laptop was setup in the U.S. so Elf will have to wait until NEXT Christmas. Actually who am I kidding I will watch that movie during any season!

I rode my bike back to the orphanage and saw everyone outside playing games! The nuns crack me up! They are TOO funny! Christmas music was playing, candy was being eaten and games of musical chairs and sack races were being played. What a way to spend Christmas, huh? If I could bring everyone I love with me..I would choose to spend every Christmas with kids in an underdeveloped country.

I hope someday my kids will be as excited as these kids were with their one gift. I don’t want to go on and on about how I had this revelation about how Christmas isn’t about the gifts, but I really do hope for years to come I can remember this Christmas – the simplicity of it, the joy of a small gift and spending time with others.

We played this one game where we had to dance and when the music stopped we couldn’t move. The nuns would come around and make funny faces to try and make us move (this was mostly just the older kids and the staff). I was DYING and lost every time. Oh these nuns, I just love them!

The kids had really been munching on their snacks all day and I wasn’t helping the matter as I brought them some sweet bread! They were ready for more and before long I had a trail of little ones eagerly awaiting another piece of bread!

We had a great afternoon of eating lots of food, playing games and listening to Christmas music. They actually did still have a structured meal, so after feeding I left and came back to the homestay!

My new motorbike man (who I think lives next store) was sitting outside his house so I hopped on and he took me downtown. I can’t imagine he does this for a living seeing as there are about 10 people on this street, but who knows.

I got comfortable at the Blue Pumpkin with its wonderful air conditioning! I wanted to do some emailing and uploading pictures AND I had to get ready for my skype dates with my family later!

I actually wasn’t as sad as I thought I was going to be this Christmas. I feel like the weeks leading up to it were harder than the day. I couldn’t listen to Christmas music or watch Christmas movies because I would get too homesick! I was almost dreading the day in a sense because I had no idea what to expect. I missed being home with my family, I missed helping out with gift wrapping at the mall and ringing the bells for the Salvation Army. I missed decorating the tree and Christmas movies on TV! And I especially missed baking with my mom!

But, luckily, I wasn’t too sad on Christmas. I had an AMAZING day with the kids and had so much fun hanging out with them. I thought it was a great way to spend Christmas day as Christmas really should be spent. I didn’t get caught up in gifts or presents or if the food was ready on time or if I spent enough or if someone liked their gift etc.

I got a quick call from Steve so we could wish each other Merry Christmas on my Christmas night and his Christmas morning. As much as I love him anyway, it really is so nice to have someone to talk to that is experiencing somewhat of the same things (being away from home on Christmas, etc.)

I then got situated with my Santa hat to skype my aunt! She LOVED my Santa hat (who wouldn’t) and it was great to catch up since I haven’t been able to skype since I got here!

After that I skyped my family so we could have Christmas! And what a Christmas it was! It first started off with me talking to my parents in our den. But then, Scott was calling me so I was all confused and they said we should all move to the family room (where Scott’s laptop was) since the presents were in there! So I got to open one first, a new shirt! Woo hoo! Then Mom, Dad and Scott opened the presents I had gotten them (yes, I was done my Christmas shopping AND wrapping in September!) and it was so fun because I felt like I was there! I then got to open another Christmas present..a Life is Good Peanut Butter & Jelly tshirt! I LOVE IT because it really is perfect for me! Nothing like Christmas morning with skype! I am so thankful for computers and the internet and webcams. I felt like most of “Christmas morning” was spent with “Can you move the camera a bit I can’t see”. I really can’t say ENOUGH how special it was to me and how much it meant! I stayed along watching until everyone had opened their presents and held them up to the camera so I could see. I felt like I was there celebrating Christmas with my family. It was absolutely wonderful!

I then was able to quickly skype my other aunt and she loved my Santa hat as well! The three of us (my aunt, my family and me) tried to do a three way call so the three of us could talk, but at that point the Blue Pumpkin was closing and the wireless outside wasn’t very strong so I kept disconnecting.

Before I got a ride home I checked out “Pub Street” as they had a couple of bands playing. There was also a truck with people in the back playing Christmas music and just driving around! I have no clue who they were though!

I got a ride back and was a little nervous because I had never come back so late. Luckily, since it was a weekend, the main roads were still pretty busy. When I got back I ran into one of the brothers of the family who was explaining Room One now has hot water and I get to move there! I told him that was GREAT and exciting, but I was actually okay in my room.

Imagine that..turning down hot water! Haha the thing is, I don’t enjoy the cold showers and I miss hot water a lot, but I am sort of into a routine here. I have my little “run in before you change your mind” dance and even though I don’t enjoy the showers, they are fine. AND I am all settled in and decorated so I thanked him and said I was fine. Then, he insisted on showing me how it worked. So we went in and checked it out. I then told him that maybe I could just use the room to take my showers.

I stopped by the dining room area to say goodnight to the other two brothers (who also came to the wedding) and then the first guy was back asking when I could move. I thanked them again and said I really was FINE in my room, but then he responded with, “Well we need your room to fix that one too”. Oooooh so now I got it! They needed me out! The other brother chimed in (I think he realized I really didn’t want to move) and said that if I didn’t want to I didn’t have to move but then the first brother started speaking in Khmer so my guess is he was saying, “She needs to move..we need the room!” So I told them it was late tonight (it was 12am) and I was touring the Temples all day tomorrow but I would move on Sunday! The hot water will be VERY nice..but I really am all settled in and comfortable so it will take awhile to move.

I am really missing Thuong and Cho con today and it makes me a bit sad. Even if I could just give them a hug and a kiss and a present I would be happy..but I hate not knowing how they are doing. If anyone is interested..I am going to start saving to go back to Vietnam so feel free to join!

For my first Christmas spent away from home and by myself I actually had a great day. I really enjoyed my time with the kids..playing games and listening to Christmas music!

Hugs and kisses and Merry Christmas from Cambodia!

Merry Christmas Eve!

When we came back from the wedding and tour of the city last night, my neighbor Mrs. Richards called me to say she was thinking of me and Merry Christmas! I feel like I am doing shout-outs or ads for people..haha..but it was so sweet and I really appreciated the thought!

I took a quick shower and KNEW I needed to sleep right away. I realized I was sick and there was a problem when I had to turn off my fan and put on a sweatshirt, sweatpants and heavy socks. Friendly reminder, I am in Cambodia with no AC! I really felt like I was coming down with the flu..I was just so achy and felt awful. It took me a while to get to sleep and I was bundled up in all my clothes and blankets.

I woke up feeling a bit better but knew something was wrong since I felt the need for all those clothes in 80 degree weather. I didn’t really want to skip Home of Joy and I had a lot of errands to do, so I figured I would try the morning and see how it went.

As I was finishing up breakfast my phone rang! Woo hoo I love phone calls! It was Steve’s sister Mary and his mom! (Steve and Christine..still waiting for a phone call from you..) They were calling to say hello and wish me a Merry Christmas as well! I was LOVING this -- everyone calling me thing! I really could get use to all these phone calls! It is SO nice to hear peoples voice and know they are thinking of me. I really can’t express how much it means!

I rode my bike to the laundry (so I can wear red tomorrow for Christmas) and then to the Home of Joy! I feel like my time spent there is holding crying kids who usually stop once they are held! I can’t tell you how sore I am from doing this..haha! Mom’s out there..I give you props!

I always make sure to check in with the two disabled kids since I feel more comfortable with the disabled after my experiences in Vietnam. The older girl can walk on her own but I usually dance with her and I take the boy out of his crib and move his legs and arms (I think he likes this!)

I felt awful but I had another frustrating English time. One of the workers there is from Vietnam (I think her name is Maria) and she brought out a list of English words to have me say them to her. Again, I realize they are trying to learn to make a better life for themselves, but I think I am worn out from teaching English. Also, one of the reasons I love Home of Joy is because I DON’T have to teach English. I tried to be patient with her, but the other problem I run into is that they just can’t make the same sounds. It’s just like me trying to speak an Asian language..I can try but I won’t ever sound like them. So I never know how much to repeat it before moving on. I really try to be patient but I just felt like I am there to play and help the kids, not to teach English. Ok enough of me complaining about that.

10:00am came and went and I had no clue why we weren’t feeding, but I just waited to see what happened. A little later a mother and daughter from Singapore arrived. I guess we were waiting for them to arrive as we were having a small party. I found out more later, but they are from Singapore and I believe they are church partners with the one here so they have been to the Home of Joy a number of times to donate and help out. They brought party hats for the kids, which were cute, and some sweets! We all hung out and there was music playing.

I guess some of the kids were hungry because then we just had feeding time in the small little gathering room! The mother and daughter also brought a blow up Santa but it only had a foot pump and was taking forever to blow up. By that time it was around noon (I usually leave at 11:00am) so I decided I would take off. I still wasn’t feeling great so I called Leng to let him know I wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t make it in this afternoon.

I had to go to the bank, but the first one I stopped at didn’t have an ATM. I found another one, went to the ATM and then needed to change it into smaller bills. The place was PACKED! I think you needed to get a number, but I had no idea where to find them and it seemed like it would take forever. The first bank I stopped at wasn’t busy so I went back there. However, once I got there she said they don’t give out smaller bills. “WHAT? YOU ARE A BANK!” I yelled at her. Ok ok, I didn’t say that but rather “thank you” and left..but come on isn’t that what banks do? I then went BACK past the other bank (I was just doing laps up and down this one road) and found a REAL bank that gave me smaller bills!

I then got a call from the BIRTHDAY GIRL (my mom’s friend Deb) which was SO nice. I was so spoiled with phone calls today! We had a great chat and I was already feeling better.

Before I rode my bike back to the homestay I wanted to stop at the grocery store to pick up some snacks for the kids tomorrow for Christmas. I got some doughnut type things and some candy canes so I hope they like them!

I made myself PB&J for lunch and took a well needed nap! As bad as I felt about missing the afternoon volunteering, I also knew I NEEDED to rest and catch up on sleep before I got any worse.

After some well needed rest I got to be LAZY. I had taken about 2 steps on the road outside the homestay when I got a “motorbike?” I hopped on and did a quick email check before grabbing dinner. I just got pasta (easy on the stomach) but it took FOREVER. The woman seemed very confused that I wanted dinner and then insisted the only menu was the one on display. I guess this could be true but it was a western place so who knows.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it to Christmas Eve Mass in time so I took a motorbike there. It’s so funny when I say yes I want a ride and then try to explain where I want to go. I don’t think ONCE someone has known where I wanted to go and tonight the Catholic Church was no exception. Once I started talking, all the other drivers SWARMED in. This always happens and I don’t know if they are trying to help their friend in making sure he knows where he is going. I would love to have someone with me who could understand what they are saying. I pointed in the direction, said I would show him the way and off we went!

I wore my Sunday best seeing as I had already embarrassed myself at the wedding reception. I still had on flip flops (but the nicest ones I have with me!) and I wore my fancier khaki capri’s and the one nice shirt I brought with me!

The church was happening! It was an older, wooden-looking building and the actual church was on the second floor. It was beautiful in a Cambodian way. I ran into Sister Nazarene and said hello and then took off my shoes and left them outside. There were mats on the floor and everyone was sitting on mats, so I found a seat. It was such a different way to celebrate Christmas Eve. The church was full with Westerners as it was the only Christmas Mass in English.

There were three Priests, a local one, one from Indonesia and one from France. They introduced themselves and then there was a small Christmas “play”. It wasn’t in English, and I don’t think it was EXACTLY the Christmas story, but something like that! It was put on by local children and most of them looked like they were between 8 and 15. The lights went off a few times so it was fun to sit in the dark, but luckily it didn’t last long so the show could continue!

After the play the Priests each spoke and then we sang a few more songs. The Mass was a bit long for me..almost 2 hours, but I was so happy I went. It was a GREAT and different way to celebrate Christmas Eve!

Afterwards they had some refreshments in the lower level of the church so of course I had to check them out! The hard boiled eggs were a big hit with the locals, but I stuck to the sweets!

I headed off to pick up my laundry (a clean red shirt..wahooo!) and quickly checked my email before returning back to the homestay. Since I now feel comfortable with the area, I do feel safer at night. Normally I have to take the closest tuk-tuk or motorbike driver so I just tell them I will show them where to go. I always have my money ready and my key out so once we arrive I can pay them and leave. Although, sometimes the gate is shut and it takes a couple tries to open, so I don’t like that. Even though I am more comfortable I still don’t like coming home alone after dark, but it’s not as bad as the first couple of days.

I took a shower to make sure my hair would be clean on Christmas and then I had some tea with Payal and two of the brothers. I actually really enjoyed talking with one of them since I was asking lots of questions. Again, while I don’t really ENJOY the homestay (being so remote..not being able to come back during the day..not feeling safe at night) it is nice to have a local family to talk to.

I asked every question I could think of (if anyone has more let me know). He has never left the country. It isn’t TOO expensive to get a passport (the more you pay the quicker you get it) but it’s expensive to travel so most people can’t afford it. There are public schools and if you are smart enough and have enough money you can continue to college, but most people don’t have the money so they get a job. The richest people here are businessmen who have branches in Phnom Penh.

The wedding we went to wasn’t a love match. The groom was about 30 and the bride 21. SOME girls get married at 16 or 17! Holy moly! The groom has to bring his parents to meet the bride’s parents and if everyone agrees the groom’s family has to pay the bride’s family money and then the bride’s family decides how to allocate the money for the wedding. McGunnigal family..start saving up because I aint cheap!

I asked if that was a typical wedding and he more or less said that couple had a lot of money so it was one of the nicer ones.

I asked a little bit about hospitals and he said a lot of the doctors aren’t good and lie so they can take your money. The Government doesn’t seem to do much either but I didn’t push that topic too much.

Overall I had a really nice Christmas Eve and I am excited to celebrate Christmas tomorrow in a very different way with the kids at the Home of Joy!

Hugs and kisses and Merry Christmas Eve from Cambodia!

The Benefits of a Homestay..?

Cambodian Wedding Reception. Please read on!

I haven’t been sleeping GREAT here. It isn’t ungodly hot without AC but it’s a bit toasty. The bed isn’t too comfortable, nor the blanket. It sounds like I am complaining, I really am not..but I think part of the reason I wake UP tired is because I don’t sleep well.

As I was getting ready to leave I walked past one of the guys in the family that lives here and some tuk tuk people (maybe his friends I don’t know) and he asked if I was busy tonight. I said I wasn’t sure (the safe answer..) and waited for him to respond. He said there was a wedding tonight and asked if I wanted to go (it took a few tries until I understood this much). I said I wasn’t sure (I was very confused) and asked what time. He said 6:00pm and mentioned something about Payal going (which made me feel better). So I texted her and she said her and Ashley were going and I should be at the homestay around 6:00pm. We shall see what tonight brings.

I was off (with my bike again) to the laundry shop first because they didn’t give me back my laundry bag. Sound familiar? Now I will know that wasn’t just a Vietnamese thing and I will have to make sure I get it next time. I did a quick stop at the internet place and made it to the Home of Joy by 9:00am.

I got to the Home of Joy and was there in time for dancing! They were adorable. They always seem to have music playing on a CD player which I think is really nice and a lot of the kids were dancing. There are signs everywhere that say no pictures, but I am hoping next week (after the nuns know me better) I can sneak some.

The kids are adorable but they wear me out! Really they do! The girls were cute and sat behind me and kept taking my hair out and putting it back in a pony tail. Kinda hurt but hey it kept them busy! So I was happy when a nun brought over one of the two disabled boys and put him in my lap because then I got to rest, well sort of. I think she said he is paralyzed, but I think he has whatever it is that a lot of the kids in Vietnam have. His joints are stiff and he can’t really bend. I held him for a while and tried to dance with him when the music was playing. I felt awful because (this happened twice) other kids would drop something and it would make a loud noise and his WHOLE body would tense up. I tried to rock him and rub his head to calm him down. I finally figured out he loved when I bounced his legs to the music. At least, I think he liked it, I am pretty sure I saw him smile!

It was then feeding time and I am still trying to watch to see what the routine is. I was handed a bowl for the boy I continue to feed and love him because he is a GREAT eater! I also helped a girl who was pretty good on her own but sometimes needed an extra push. So after their food they get a piece of fruit, then water, then they are wiped and then they are off!

After my boy was done another worker gave me a little baby (well she could sit up on her own) to feed. It is so funny because the workers there call me Sister! Sorry Steve, I don’t know if I am available anymore.

This girl was TOUGH. She had baby food and she did NOT want to eat. I couldn’t get her to open her mouth or anything. When I did, the food would just come back out! I tried for a while with no luck. I was getting frustrated more so because of the FLIES! They are awful here. I don’t really worry about mosquitoes, it’s the flies! It’s kind of gross; I counted about 5 flying around me when I was trying to feed. It’s not as if the orphanage isn’t clean (it’s actually nice) but rather that flies just love Cambodia!

After feeding they lay down for a nap so I went around and rubbed some heads and backs and hit the road! I biked around a little more (since I know I won’t have my bike every day) and then stopped at a place for lunch that I could also check email quickly. I got a tuna sandwich which was really good!

I came back to the homestay to drop off my bike and then back out to find a motorbike to downtown. I have NO idea who these guys are but they always hang out at this one corner. All the motorbike and tuk-tuk guys wave at you even if you are MILES away..they are CRAZY! I can’t imagine these guys do this for a living because there are no tourists that come down that road and all the locals have their own transportation. But maybe they are just resting and hanging out until they see me and then spring into action.

I got a ride downtown to meet someone who was going to take me to ODA. At 1:15pm I called Leng who said his student was there, but then when I asked again, he said he would be 20 minutes. I told him it was fine they weren’t there but I just wanted to know what time. He seemed very confused, so I just sat to wait.

Earlier when I was walking around a young girl came up to me to try and sell something. I said no thank you and when she asked where I was from I just kept walking. I felt awful after thinking, “Yes, maybe she is trying to sell me something but she is still just a kid”. So while I was waiting for my ride another girl came up to me. I still said no thank you but this time I didn’t end the conversation. I already knew her next question so I responded with, “The States!” I asked her why she wasn’t in school and she said she had been in the morning. Which is true because when I go to ODA in the afternoon sometimes half the kids are in school and half already went in the morning. We chatted for a bit..she likes singing in school and does this after school to make money. I told her if I saw her tomorrow I would buy her an ice cream. Who knows what I have started.

When I was done talking to her this young guy was awkwardly staring at me so I figured he was my ride. I forget what his name was but he is 20 and brought me out to ODA. As we were on his motorbike I was so thankful I didn’t have to bike it. My butt hurts so much from just riding my bike in the morning (which is no more than an hour) never mind in the afternoon. I still do feel a bit guilty when I hear about other people who do it and kids who ride into town from the orphanage. BUT God gave me special talents to share with these people and bike riding isn’t one of them.

We got stop by the guards for a little bit. It wasn’t a scary situation, but they just needed to confirm (I don’t know how) that I was a volunteer and not going to the Temples.
When I arrived at ODA Leng was showing some people around so I went to the school area where there were about 7 kids hanging out. I just started talking to them and then brought out my books. They LOVED them and I was so excited! I think it was sensory overload (I gave them each 4 books) and I knew I didn’t want to go over them today but had to bring them ALL since I never go back to the homestay during the day.

I then decided it was most important for them to be able to start a conversation. Most of them are pretty good because Westerners stop by ALL the time but I wanted to make sure. I started off with hello/answer, How are you?/answer, What’s your name?/answer, How old are you?/answer. I could tell some of the boys were bored, but with a class that ranges in age from 6-15 it was hard to find common ground! I also thought this was a good way for me to see who needs more help and who can carry on a conversation.

People kept stopping by to see ODA which I thought was great! At first I was under the impression they REALLY need help but now I am not so sure. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I think a lot of people stop by as they are touring the Temples but maybe don’t stay to REALLY help or buy the things they need. it makes it hard for a structured lesson but I don’t really mind because it gives me a nice break when they stop by.

By the time we got to ages I realized they were struggling a bit with numbers and letters. Now I am not one to emphasize writing. If I had more time I would..but if there is one thing I have learned about language when traveling..it only matters if you can SPEAK it! Khaly could really only speak Vietnamese and did everything fine. If she didn’t know, she just told someone (in Vietnamese) she couldn’t read it and then they would say it to her. So for the children I know it’s important they learn how to read and write but I think first they should know how to have a conversation.

They do write in their books as I write on the board so I decided it was game time! Two teams and we had races. I would say a letter or number and whoever got it first -- won! Woo hoo! THEN I got tricky and would say something like, “5B” so they had to do both. I think they really enjoyed it.

I was exhausted and I think there’s only so much these kids can do without getting bored so I decided to call it a class (there doesn’t seem to be a set time). I was then just hanging out with them but these two older people kept asking me to pronounce words in the books. They might have been more or less around my age and I found out later one of them is the dance instructor. A past volunteer paid for a few months of cultural dance lessons for the kids.

I know how awful this is going to sound (these are the times I find it hard to write openly) BUT I am just tired of teaching English. The kids are adorable and I did have fun with them, but it’s more of the older people who come up to me and just ask me to read words for them. I know how bad that sounds, they are just trying to learn, but saying English words over and over gets old and I do it in EVERY country over and over and over. I can’t tell you how many times people just want to talk to practice. Again, I TRY hard because I know they want to learn, but I think I am getting a bit fatigued. Granted I have only been in Cambodia for a few days, I have been volunteering for over 2 months now so I think that aspect is becoming more tiring.

They asked me to stay for their dancing class and I felt awful but I said I needed to go. I knew I needed to go back into town to grab dinner and make it back to the homestay for this wedding thing. I told them hopefully another day I would stay!

Some guy from ODA brought me back on his ghetto bike. I felt awful because the mirrors were falling off (he had to hold them) and I didn’t have any foot things so I had to hold my legs. I was worried because I was wearing flip flops and on the turns my feet hit the bottom, but I still have two legs to show for it..although they were sore legs when we got back into town!

We stopped for gas along the way and I paid and then I will pay Leng for the transportation since it is much easier than me trying to find another way out there.

Once I was back in town, I quickly stopped to buy some dry erase markers for the school since all of theirs were running out and then did another quick internet run to check my email.

I had dinner at a place Angelina frequented often while in Siem Reap to film Tomb Raider. Her picture was everywhere and they had a drink named after her. It was cute but a bit overkill.

I wasn’t feeling great so I decided on eggs and fruit salad with yogurt and it was DELICIOUS. Scrambled eggs are another comfort food for me and I knew it would be easy to get down. I ALWAYS love a good fruit salad with yogurt so that was good as well! I can’t seem to find good orange juice here as it is always mixed with orange soda..yuck!

I found a new tuk-tuk driver to take me to get some milk (the kind I had was VERY spoiled..I had to dump out my cereal this morning) and take me back.

I had just gotten back and I ran into Payal and asked her if I should wear anything special or bring anything. She laughed and said it was cute that I asked so many questions!..and said whatever was fine! I still didn’t know what we were going to but decided I would go along and not ask questions.

We got in the family’s tuk-tuk and off we went. It was myself, Ashley, Payal and three family members. As we were driving there I was yawning (I was so tired) and Payal said something about me being tired. I figured that was a good time to throw in a question about how late this went and she said around 11:30pm. WOW! I was glad I didn’t know that beforehand! I still wasn’t feeling great and did NOT want to stay out that late but reminded myself this was pretty cool so I wanted to enjoy it!

I had NO idea what to expect until we arrived at a banquet hall just like in the States. Some people were outside and the women all looked beautiful. They had a lot of makeup on and all had either traditional dresses or traditional tops on with a skirt. Some looked like they were going to prom! It was great! The guys weren’t as dressed up, but I felt like the BIGGEST bum! I REALLY should have thought this out more..but I had no clue where we were even going! I had on sneakers, capri’s and a t-shirt! I hadn’t even showered or washed my face! Oh it was so awful. Nobody seemed to notice or care which was nice..but I just felt so under dressed.

We got in line to enter through the front door where we were greeted by the bride and groom in a sort of receiving line. I am not quite sure who the other people in the line were but the bride and groom were definitely there. They handed out their little party favors (a small notebook with hearts) and we continued inside.

Everything was pink. I mean EVERYTHING was Pepto-Bismol pink. Steve, I LOVE pink but you don’t have to worry about me wanting a wedding with THIS much pink!

It was set up like a typical western wedding reception. There was a dance floor in the middle, a live band on stage and tables set up on either side. We found a table and sat down. There were already drinks on the table and servers came out with food. I had already eaten dinner (I had no idea what to expect at this thing..) and since my stomach is still adjusting I tried a few things but didn’t go crazy.

Payal said the dance floor was set up like an Indian wedding since there were flowers in the middle and people danced around it. The first dance we went up to was a typical Khmer dance. Everyone kind of danced around in a circle and moved their hands..it’s hard to explain but I will upload videos soon. We did a loop and then sat back down for dinner.

After we had eaten they brought over the dessert tray but I would NOT call that dessert. If there is one thing I will splurge on for my wedding it will be the FOOD. Start saving Daddy..I have expensive tastes! It was some jello/custard thing and there were also envelopes with it. We found out that instead of gifts you bring money to put in the envelope and then give it to the bride and groom.

There was no head table because the bride and groom literally just took pictures all night! At one point we went back outside to take our picture with them. It reminded me of Disney..we got in a line, had our picture with them and then left. I also saw them through the night roaming around and having pictures taken!

After we had eaten this guy came up to me and asked me to dance! Woo hoo! It was again that typical Cambodian dance and he was trying to show me the moves, BUT like at every wedding there are always those drunk guys! One was behind me and I think he kept showing me the wrong moves to make fun of me. Even though they did speak English (well..I THINK they did) I couldn’t understand them but this woman kept hitting the man so it’s my guess he was being annoying.

They were getting a little too obnoxious for me so I decided to call it quits with dancing. To be honest..I don’t even like dancing anyway (thanks Mom and Dad!)

I was EXHAUSTED and felt bad because I kept yawning, but I felt very sick. My head was throbbing, I was all stuffy, and my throat felt like it was being stabbed with knives. We were almost the LAST ones to leave the wedding and as much as I was enjoying the opportunity I really didn’t feel well and just wanted to be in bed.

When we left, the brothers of the family wanted to drive us around which was sweet of them so we went through the downtown and out by the Temples. It was beautiful out by the Temples because there was nobody there and it was SO quiet and dark. I have NEVER seen so many stars!

Hugs and kisses from a Cambodian wedding reception!

Siem Reap

After another rough night I had a GREAT talk with my mom. Isn’t she the best? If anyone is looking for a life coach..she’s the one! We talked a lot about why I was struggling here..and a lot about “shoulds”. I felt like I was getting very caught up in what I SHOULD be doing..instead of just doing what comes naturally. We talked about how if I didn’t feel comfortable at the homestay, I could stay somewhere in town. If I didn’t feel comfortable at my placements, I could ask to go somewhere else. If I didn’t want to bike 10 miles a day, I shouldn’t have to. I felt a LOT better after (thanks Mom) and it was a friendly reminder as to WHY I am here. I am here to help. I am here to volunteer. I am here to give the gifts that God gave me to help influence others in a positive way.

With all that being said, I woke up with a better attitude this morning. I decided I wasn’t going to do the 10 mile bike ride. For some reason, I got caught up in this, ‘I have to do it’ thing. It seems it was almost expected of me to do it, and if you can’t already tell, I hate letting people down. I hate being weak (which is why I often struggle with being completely open and honest with the blog/journal because I am not always the person I wish I was) but anyway, I decided I didn’t NEED to do a 10 mile bike ride. I didn’t NEED to prove it to myself or anyone else. COULD I have done it? Eventually, sure I could have. Would I have enjoyed it? HECK NO! God gave me some wondeful gifts that I hope to share with the Cambodians, but bike riding isn’t one of them. So instead of wasting my energy on that, I decided I would ask if I could get a ride so I would be fresh when I arrived! (I did however read a blog by a guy who road there every day for the kids and felt a bit guilty..oh well..I am doing the best I can).

Ok well let me back up..so I woke up did my morning thing and road my bike to the Home of Joy. I first stopped at the laundry place since I am running low and she said it would be ready at 7:00pm. I did a quick stop at the internet shop next store to try and book some tour things! It was there (of all places) I realized I might be having a long day seeing as I was experiencing some “intestinal problems”. These problems have been keeping me company since I arrived, but it was strange because my body was normal the whole time in Vietnam. And I haven’t eaten anything crazy here because I was having issues. Ok enough about that..hopefully it will take care of itself!

Moving on..I then arrived at the Home of Joy and today it was just me! A little overwhelming to say the least! I played with the kids for a bit (they are SO active) and then I helped peel oranges for their meal!

Then it was feeding time, and I quickly bee-lined it to the same boy I had yesterday (he is easy!) There are a fair amount of kids who sit at the tables and feed themselves and then I think the youngest ones are on the floor so we (the nuns and I) help them!

I started talking to the nun (the Fr. Paul looking one..) and found out more about the kids. They are from the surrounding area and the Home of Joy takes them in (maybe for a few months to a year) because they come from such poor families! She said hygiene is really bad (no clean water, no food, etc) so they take them in..feed them A LOT (they eat 6 times a day!!!) and make sure they are healthy before sending them back home. It is actually pretty cool because I had never heard of that before.
The nun I spoke with (I am going to have her write down her name tomorrow) is from India and has been here almost a year. Before Siem Reap she was in Phnom Penh, Cambodia for seven years and then Hong Kong for seven years. She is a bit hard to understand but hey I will take ANY English.

After they eat they nap..well at least they are suppose to. So I offered to wipe down the tables and sweep the room. It actually was quite a process because I tried to figure out how to get under the tables and benches. I know it isn’t rocket science, but honestly it was tricky. After that they asked if I would sweep the main room, which was a TON of work because I had to go under all the cribs. I am SO happy to help and I hate sounding like I am complaining (I really am NOT) but they have those awkward short brooms (EVERYONE in Asia has these)..so I felt like a hunched over old lady!

After that, most of the kids were in their cribs, so I asked if there was anything else (there wasn’t) and I headed out! I checked out the Catholic Church down the street because I am going to go to Christmas Eve Mass there! I am really excited (it’s the only one in English) so that’s something to look forward to!

I also asked if I could bring anything on Christmas for the kids..but she was no help! Haha! I think she said maybe a sweet or something as a treat for them..so I, as Ms. Clause, will have to start looking!

I called Leng (the head guy at ODA) to tell him I wasn’t comfortable biking and asked him if someone could pick me up. I thought he spoke good English but he did NOT understand so I called Maureen who said she would call him and someone would pick me up in front of the Blue Pumpkin at 1:00pm. Since I had my bike with me I did bike around a little bit (it was cool to see the more local area) and then headed to a small café back on the “main strip”. I just got a strawberry smoothie (I figured it would go do easy) and was able to quickly check email.

I stopped at what was called a Mall but really had NOTHING in it! I was looking for flashcards and knew they had a bookstore but I think it was a FRENCH bookstore (and THAT doesn’t help me!) I think the mall JUST opened a few weeks ago so I am sure it will be nice in the future, just needs some time. I shouldn’t call it a mall because there are a few stores on the first floor and should be more on the second, but it’s called the Museum Mall.

By then I wanted to head back because I needed to drop off my bike. I really enjoyed riding the bike this morning, although I was VERY content with my decision about the afternoon. The bike is like a banana seat bike and is NOT made for long distances. It was probably a 15 minute ride there and back and my butt is KILLING ME! This butt was not made for riding bikes!

I would love to bike every morning but it kind of becomes a problem. I don’t think I will come back to the homestay during the day because it is so out of the way. So if I take my bike to the Home of Joy and then downtown for lunch I could park it there while I am at ODA. Then I will be dropped off downtown to have some time to look around, internet, get things done and then have dinner. BUT by that time it is dark and I just don’t think I feel comfortable riding home. ESPECIALLY because it is SO bumpy and dark.

So my plan was to come back and drop of my bike and then get a ride into town. I was able to ride a little bit down the street and it is like REAL life Cambodia. It is cool to be able to see this (this definitely isn’t a tourist route) and to see how people live day to day. There really wasn’t anything that I would ride back for (although they do have stands selling snacks etc.) but I enjoyed seeing it.

Since my tummy wasn’t up to par I relied on good old PB&J to do the trick! Nothing like some comfort food! It was actually really good!

I then was a bit rushed for time since I needed to get back into town to pick up a ride for ODA. Of course NOBODY ever asks me if I need a ride when I DO (like last night with my groceries!) FINALLY a guy on a bike kind of looked at me so I waved him down. It is so funny how you just hop on the back of someone’s bike and give them money to take you somewhere. Obviously the tuk-tuk drivers do it for a living but I have no clue if some of these guys just randomly decide to make some extra money or what!

He dropped me off and I had JUST a few minutes to pop in the bookstore. I knew I had seen some English “workbooks” but thought they were a bit pricey. Since I had NOTHING else (they don’t seem to have flashcards here) I decided I would get the alphabet, fruits, vegetables, and animals books. I couldn’t remember how many kids were in the class, but there were only eight fruit books, so I decided I would get eight of each. I would have one, so the class could share seven other books.

Now I am NOT a teacher nor do I really enjoy it. I have the UPMOST respect for those who teach (Steve, Lorna, Emily you know I love you guys!) but it’s just not my thing. SO props make me feel A LOT more comfortable. I also already knew how much they would ENJOY brand new books and I thought future volunteers could use them as well! They were VERY heavy (even more of a reason not to bike 10 miles..like I needed another excuse) so I waited outside for my ride.

At 1:15pm I called Leng who STILL seemed very confused. We decided he would just pick me up tomorrow instead. So I had the afternoon FREE! Woo hoo! But now I had all these heavy books. I decided I would get a tuk-tuk back, drop off my books, get my laptop and spend the afternoon relaxing in town.

I found a new tuk-tuk driver (and thanks to Payal) I knew I SHOULD be able to negotiate a ride to and back for $3. He said $4 (it’s usually $2 each way) but I told him I usually get it for $3 (usually meaning I have never done it before but heard it could be done) and it was no problem. He was great except that he was SO talkative! I was ready to enjoy a nice peaceful ride but I was with chatty Kathy! At some points he would even turn around to talk to me but I thought I would just be wasting energy if I told him to WATCH THE ROAD!

When we got back into town he gave me his card which will be nice because I have someone else to call, IF I am in the mood to talk!

I went to the Blue Pumpkin, my comfort zone! It was nice to have my laptop because I needed to check banking and all that jazz but never do that on a public computer. I also downloaded more pictures (STILL coming) since I have to have my laptop to do that. I somehow passed most of the afternoon (with tea of course..my cough doesn’t want to leave) just relaxing, emailing, and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I want to do before I leave Siem Reap!

I had texted Payal to see if she and her friend from Korea were around for dinner and they were meeting at 6:30pm so I met them for dinner! Her friend, Ashley is from Korea and is visiting Siem Reap until Monday. They both met at some homestay in Sydney. Payal told me they were going to an Indian restaurant if that was ok and I sort of laughed because that was the LAST thing my stomach needed. I reassured her I would just get some bread or something plain.

Payal and I started talking about our WLS experience and we both HATE THE PROGRAM! I tried to say it was ok, blah blah blah, but when she said she hated it I was like, “AHHH ME TOO!” We had a GREAT time venting about it (how we both feel like they take our money and then leave us to figure it out on our own) etc. Poor Ashley who had to listen to all of it! But she said she already knew the disappointments from Payal.

I just got some garlic bread for dinner and ginger ale it was GREAT! I REALLY miss having friends to hang out with and talk to etc. They are doing a lot of sightseeing this week and traveling but I am hoping if they are in town I can join them for dinner!

I then texted Tay, my original tuk-tuk man, to see if he could bring me to get my laundry first and then home. Texting is SO much easier because he is always confused on the phone. He said ok, and then called me so I told him I would meet him in 5 minutes.
On my walk to meet him Maureen called to apologize. I guess she had never gotten a hold of Leng and then had forgotten, which is why he was SO confused when I called again!

Tay brought me to get my laundry (woo hoo clean clothes) and then I was home sweet home!

Hugs and kisses from Siem Reap!

Struggles

I was actually really nervous about today and it took me a while to get to sleep last night. Something about this country makes me nervous..and maybe it’s just because it’s Cambodia and I feel like there is such a stigma that comes with that.

I woke up around 8:00am and took a FREEZING shower to wash my hair (sort of). I have a feeling I am never going to feel clean until I can take a lukewarm shower again! As I was walking to get my milk I ran into Songim who said something about how SHE was taking me to the Home of Joy at 8:00am? The one thing that has already frustrated me about Cambodia, as far as the coordinators go, is the lack of communication (even between Maureen and Tom!) I told her Tom told me 8:45am since I started around 9:00am and I would be ready then. I also asked her if she knew anything about what I was supposed to do this afternoon (and she didn’t).

I called Tom who responded with, “You’re going back to Home of Joy aren’t you?” I told him that wasn’t what Maureen told me but I would call him later. Songim brought me to the Home of Joy (it isn’t THAT far away..maybe a 25 minute walk). When I got there there were a ton of volunteers in blue shirts. Songim introduced me to Sister Nazarene (who spoke some English..wahooo!) who “showed me around”.

There is a main room with cribs, an office type area where I put my bag, a kitchen, an eating area, a bathroom/washing area, something out back, a playroom and then the out front area (which also has a small playground). Although, I think she only got through the main room before she had to help some child. The kids are young for the most part (I would say less than 3 or 4) but there are a few who are older and one who is mentally challenged.

I am STILL confused about their situation, but I think they have families so I am not positive why they are here, but maybe some have families and some don’t, or they do have families who can’t take care of them.

It is a Christian run organization (the nuns) and I think two speak some English which is really nice. For you Stonehill people..one looks like the female version of Father Paul..actually she just LOOKS like Father Paul so that made me smile!

I found out the other volunteers are from Korea and they are still in college but part of a volunteer group. They were only at the Home of Joy for the day, but walking around I could see their group has been here a lot! All of the murals had their group name and different dates, so it sounds like it’s an annual thing for them (but obviously with different students). They didn’t really speak English, but it was a relief to have other people there (I have NO idea what I am going to do when it’s only me!)

My first thought was, “WHAT have I gotten myself into?” I reminded myself how I have felt this way the first day of EVERY project and that it would only get better. I found one boy who was crying unless he was held so I --- made the mistake of --- picking him up. I was carrying him around for a bit, but MAN he got heavy! I need to practice that “kid on my hip thing”. I couldn’t even sit down and hold him or else he would start to cry..I needed to be standing up. EVENTUALLY I got him to fall asleep, but then I was in an awkward position and MY legs were falling asleep.

The Korean group put on some music and did some dances which were fun to watch. One was to “Santa Clause is Coming to Town!” and I actually got a bit sad. I feel like I picked the worst places to be for my birthday, Christmas and New Year! By that I only mean they are very desolate and a bit lonely. I don’t want to forget about Christmas as it is the basis of my faith, but in a way I sort of want to pretend it isn’t happening. WHY do I have to have amazing people in my life that I miss so very much, especially on Christmas?

I digress. Then, it was time for feeding. They have a small room with two “picnic style” tables. Most of the kids sit there and can more or less feed themselves. But as I put my boy down he started to sob. So I picked him up and some of the kids were on the floor being fed (I think the ones that needed more of a pureed food). But, after I was handed the bowl he continued to cry and move his head so that NO food could go in! GREAT first day and I get the tough one! A staff person (not a nun though) took him from me and gave me another! Woo hoo! This one was GREAT and was gulping it down! After some water and part of a second helping (which made him the last one done) I brought him back out to that main room. I was handed the crying boy again who I continued to carry around.

I thought around 11:00am they were suppose to nap (that’s when I was told I should leave..) but I think since the Korean volunteers were still there they were up for a bit. The Koreans were all wondering why I was there, etc. etc. and it was cute because 3 of them would get together and try and figure out how to ask me. They knew basic English and between of few of them I think we worked it out. I retained my celebrity status and had my picture taken with them!

They got on their bus and left and I was alone with about 10 kids outside. I knew it was ok they were there but I didn’t really know what to do (and nobody really told me). Finally around 11:20am I went inside and said I had to leave!

Since I really didn’t know WHAT the plan was, I figured I would make my way downtown and check out some things along the way. My first planned stop was a laundry place my peeps on trip advisor recommended. I managed to find it and it is a bit expensive (more than double what I paid in Vietnam) BUT I think it is same day pickup and I can more or less drop it off before the Home of Joy.

I continued walking around and just found some different things and FINALLY made my way to the downtown area. I honestly don’t know how long it took me because I was weaving in and out of roads and stopped along the way, but MAN I was hot!

I stopped at Tell for lunch. It was in my guidebooks and Alexis and Andrew (my friends from the Halong Bay Cruise) said it was good. I was the ONLY one there..but I knew it was early for lunch (especially because the lunch rush are the tourists coming back from the Temples..so it’s later anyway). I was actually thinking about trying something authentic (really I was) but my stomach has been somewhat iffy lately.

They had a lunch deal, a salad and pasta, so I decided on that. It was fine, nothing special but it was good. I then decided I would check my email quickly at an internet shop. I hate using them..I missed my laptop and I feel so much pressure because I am paying for every second! So I just did a quick email read and then I called Maureen to see what the plan was. She told me Tom would pick me up at 1:10pm in front of the Blue Pumpkin to take me to the Orphans & Disabled Arts Association (ODA). I spent a bit of time wandering and found the other laundry shop, but I think I like the new one better (it seemed more like a laundry shop whereas this one seemed like someone’s house).

I met Tom and we were off! He said he would show me how to get there so I could bike tomorrow (yeah..about that..) I had been wearing my pink Boston Red Sox hat (yeah Boston!)..like I need any more reasons to stick out. BUT since all the transportation here isn’t covered, I wanted to wear a hat. Anyway, bad idea because it went FLYING off! Ooops! Luckily I told him quick enough so we could stop and I could grab it. The road seemed to go on FOREVER (and I wasn’t even BIKING) and when we got to gate he showed the brochure so we didn’t have to pay the $20. I am a little nervous that this will be a problem but I have everyone’s number so I can always call if I get stuck.

It really is beautiful once you get into the Temple area because it is just woodsy and more quiet. He said he would take me around the big loop to give me a sneak peak at the Temples and then someone at the organization would bring me home the normal way so I could know the way for tomorrow. By the time we got to the part where normally I would go right but we went left is was 6km which is 3.72 miles. Not ok, not ok.

It was AWESOME to see the Temples and I am definitely excited for when I tour them, but I am just NOT a Temple girl! I don’t know if it is because I am a travel snob and really have been blessed to see a lot of the world, but I am just not into that (although I am not a museum girl either). It was pretty cool though (huge) and he brought me down some other roads to show me other temples. Although at one point he said something about how we had to avoid the police because we really shouldn’t be there. BUT I guess once you’re in the gate it’s fine, you just can’t go IN to the temples without a pass.

Tom was telling me just how corrupt the Cambodian government is..and how they think if NGO’s want to come and help, let them, because they aren’t going to do anything to help. The whole situation of the country seems very sad.

We were literally off-roading on his motorbike, although I was happy I was getting a bit of a free tour. But motorbikes are NOT comfortable. There really isn’t a ton of space to sit and I have to hold on to the bar below my butt so I don’t fall off (even though I felt like I was going to..A LOT!)

He kept saying how this and that would be great to explore on bike and I would be safe at night..but I don’t know. I DEFINITELY would not be riding around there after dark..and I think it would be AWESOME to bike around once in the Temples, but after a 4 mile bike ride to GET there I feel like I would be dead! Of course I didn’t tell him this; I just smiled and thanked him for the advice.

We arrived at ODA which is literally on the side of the road and sort of in between Temples. There are about 50 Temples in the whole complex, so it’s HUGE. When I got there there were a group of girls (seemed about my age) watching the kids do some dance thing. I was met by Leng who runs the program. He introduced me to them as the “English Teacher” and that’s when I panicked.

The girls were leaving so I sort of just stood there as they said their goodbyes. I found out they are from California and out of school but took about 3 weeks to come over and travel (they are going to Ho Chi Minh and Halong Bay after this!) I guess they had met someone selling artwork in the Temples who recommended ODA and so they stopped by to hang out with the kids. It was really cool they were just tourists who visited for the afternoon.

The orphanage isn’t much. It has two bedrooms (one for boys and one for girls) a kitchen area, eating area, “schooling” area and an area where they sell their artwork. I think this is the organization that focuses a lot on artwork that they then sell as a fundraiser.

Anyway after they left I didn’t know what to do so I was kinda hanging out with some kid playing with a truck. When I walked back over the school area Leng said, “Ok teach!” Wait a second..where have I heard this before..

I told him I didn’t know I was supposed to be teaching today and didn’t have anything prepared. He handed me a book that had what past volunteers had taught (which I thought was GREAT but I literally just glanced at it). I started with body parts and attempted Simon Says but man international kids just DON’T get it! So then it just turned into “Touch your..” EVERYTHING I did in Beijing completely escaped me, but luckily he saved the day and said he needed to go into town to check on a child in the hospital so I needed to go then (or else I would be walking home!) I was relieved!

So basically what I found out on the ride back was there are about 20 orphans who live there. It sounds like they do artwork to make money for the orphanage. They aren’t disabled, although there is one boy who is 17 and speaks pretty good English and he was my helper/translator..but I also think he is blind in one eye.

I explained to Leng that I would bike tomorrow (although he took me on a DIFFERENT way back..and I think it’s going to be about a 5 to 6 mile bike ride ONE WAY) but said I don’t think I could do that every day. First of all, I know after tomorrow I won’t be able to WALK and my butt is going to kill. But I just wanna do it to prove to myself I can. Also..it is going to take me FOREVER to get there and back. Again I would LOVE to bike around the Temple area, but if I am already biking at least 10 miles there and back, I am just not in good enough biking shape to then bike around the area. I think he said that tomorrow maybe we could figure out how someone could pick me up in town and bring me out. The problem is because it’s the Temples any form of transportation would be about $8 one way. So wish me luck tomorrow..I am going to NEED IT!

On the way back he also asked me about what countries I was visiting and I told him. He told me how lucky I was to be able to travel. This made me uncomfortable because what was I suppose to say to that? I told him I was very blessed for this opportunity and he said how nobody in Cambodia can travel (I think he said because they just don’t have enough money). But he said how he doesn’t like living here because everything is so corrupt and the government does nothing for the people and the children. It really made me sad and uncomfortable because I had NO clue what to say. I also feel SO privileged to live in the U.S. and have the opportunities I do have.

He dropped me off downtown and I looked for a bookstore to find SOMETHING to use tomorrow. No such luck! Oh well..better luck NEXT time! Guess I will have to get creative! The classroom at the orphanage is cool because there is just a hanging board and some benches but it’s all outside. It feels so Cambodian, but sort of in a sad way when I think of classrooms in America with computers and LCD projector screens etc.

I was trying to figure out what to do with my night. I was exhausted and hated that I hadn’t been able to really “rest” all day. I don’t mind the homestay (although I miss warm water and AC) but the thing I really dislike is how far away it is! I would have loved to just lie down for 5 minutes during the day to relax!

Anyway, I decided I would try ANOTHER supermarket, have dinner and call it an earlier night. I walked about 10 minutes to the other supermarket and fell in LOVE. It had EVERYTHING, including the red raspberry preserve jam I like for my PB&J! I picked some up so now it is nice to know I can always have a sandwich at home in case I don’t feel like going into town (since it really is a hassle) and I picked up a lot of other snacks..seeing as I spent $40 on groceries! Ugh I HATE using American money! BUT besides water and milk I really won’t have to do any other grocery shopping while I am here, which was my goal. It was sort of early for dinner but I knew I should eat something so I went to this burger place. I know, I know, but honestly it was the ONLY place in this mall and since I had all my bags I couldn’t really venture out! Hamburger and french-fries, YUM!

I then called Tay my new Tuk-Tuk friend to see if he could bring me back. He said he was busy but could bring me back at 6:30pm (it was about 5:30pm). I said that was fine and read a little of my tour book. I was outside at 6:25pm and when he didn’t show up by 6:35pm I called him and he said another 10 minutes. This was sort of my fear, but I also didn’t love the idea of having someone random take me home (since NOBODY knows where this place is!) Finally at 6:45pm I texted him (SO much easier than trying to understand him on the phone) and told him I had to get home so I would call him another time. I started walking and it took FAR too long until a tuk-tuk came along! Where are they when you need them? My bags were heavy and I didn’t really feel comfortable in the area I was at so I was happy to take a tuk-tuk back.

After showing him the address he had NO clue (surprise surprise) so I told him I would show him. I was MORE than half way there (and TIRED) so it didn’t take long. When we got there I asked him how much (it’s $2 from town..unless they try and rip you off..so I thought I should pay $1 but wouldn’t argue seeing as we were in a dark dirt road) and he sorta laughed and said, “How much do you think?” I told him $1 since I was half way there and asked for his number for the future..although I think he thought I wanted to go to the Temples.

Ugh this is what I really don’t like about where I am staying. I hate having to rely on finding a tuk-tuk or motorbike and I hate having to worry about it. Will I be safe? Will they get lost? Will I get ripped off? I like the IDEA of a homestay (and getting the true feel) but being by myself I just don’t feel completely comfortable and it seems like more work (and worry) than what I am gaining from it.


I am finding I am having trouble just “being present”. I remember feeling this way in Beijing, but not in Vietnam. Maybe I didn’t feel this way in Vietnam because I was with other volunteers (Khaly and Ken) so kinda felt like we were all doing it together? I am not sure. But I find myself worrying, “Am I doing enough? Will I leave here and regret something? Am I pushing myself enough out of my comfort zone?” and I am just not sure. When I think about it, I come up with answers, but are they answers or excuses? Am I trying to absorb as much of the culture as I can? Well, I have been to mostly touristy places because that’s where I have felt comfortable (and all my stomach can handle). I haven’t felt ready to experience the local food yet, but hopefully I will. The bike rides..I am not looking forward to the LONG one tomorrow..but is this an excuse? Yes I talk about the time, the heat, the sun, etc. but am I going to miss out on something? Like I said I would LOVE to bike around the Temples, but I don’t think I would enjoy it after the 5 mile ride to get there (and knowing I have to return home). But am I just saying this to make myself feel better about not wanting to do it? Am I making the most of my homestay? No I don’t really like it..I don’t like having to worry about how to get back every night..I don’t like feeling a little bit uneasy about the location, the remoteness, the darkness, but are these excuses..am I going to be missing out on something? I haven’t really met anyone (there are no other volunteers) but have I really PUT myself out there to meet people? Ugh I don’t know..for some reason this is really bothering me as I write this. Am I playing it too safe? I mean no, not in a safety sense..I won’t do anything because I feel like I should if I think I am going to be unsafe..but am I making the most of this experience..am I giving it everything I’ve got?

Hugs and kisses from a struggling Julie.